Of Coffee With Dirty Money

If you were having coffee with me, I would welcome you into my tangle of words… Do you still wear face masks or not? God thing those are not necessary in this space.

coffee mug on a $1 note

So, dirty money, you are suppose to wash it right?…. I always picture money laundry involving running loads of dirty money through the laundromat. I am fairly sure that you know Zimbabwe is currently a multi-currency state which is just a fancy way of saying over 70% of our local transactions are now in United States Dollar, even though the government insists we are not dollarising (yet it gazettes official prices in USD). Anyway for some strange reason people will refuse soiled or damaged notes, its crazy.. is that a thing anywhere else? Do tell.

Sometimes I find myself performing emergency surgery on notes that feels low key like being a counterfeiter… the evil genius in me is amused at how easy it is to print one’s own money… But you would have to be careful about it… Just the past week the police busted members of a counterfeit syndicate…

If you were having coffee with me, I would tell you that instead of money laundering, I did do some real laundry this weekend. Judging from the clothes on the line I have penchant for dark colours… They don’t stain easily ha! Although now I being haunted by unironed laundry… Of late the electricity blues seem to be on steroids… I am almost tempted to call the power utility company and ask if they are still in business.

During the beginning of the week, someone made a joke that the power outage increase coincided with an explosive documentary by Al Jazeera exposing corruption was suppose to screen. Anyway for reasons not made public, Aljazeera postponed the documentary and it remains unscreened.

We are left to speculate as to why? Technical difficulties? Could it be that the long arm of the government got to them and made an offer they couldn’t refuse?… What if there was never a documentary and it was a get rich gimmick where they threaten an exposè and get paid off?

Dirty money African Gold AL Jazeera Gold Mafia Documentary
Gold Mafia Documentary Al Jazeera

If you were having coffee with me, I would tell you that ever since Al Jazeera announced the documentary on corruption, money laundry and gold smuggling, the government has been in overdrive to distance itself from corruption in typical Shakespearen “Mr Government Man you doth protest too much”

I would have not paid much attention to this documentary had it not been that everywhere I turn I seem to find it being mentioned. There’s plenty of businesses which do not seem profitable enough to finance their lifestyles – over the weekend artist Winky D whose song Ibotso references corruption and looting of resources was removed from the stage during a performance by the police soon as he sang the controversial song.

Sing about corruption and get arrested but walk around with smuggled gold in your handbag and go scot free. There once was a lady caught with 6kg of gold in her handbag… wrote about it in a yesteryear article: Coffee With Gold.. The Reserve Bank has also issued a strongly worded rebuttal to the Al Jazeera documentary…

Scurrilous and Malicious allegations carried in snippets from unscreened Al Jazeera documentary

I totally agree Zimbabwe cant be the laundromat of Southern Africa, I mean have never seen wads of notes being hung out to dry in public. Besides, if there was all that money floating around, wouldn’t it show? We wouldn’t need to prove how seriously we wanted a job being made to do Amazing Race type interviews…

There's a recruiting agency that asks you to run from their offices (Samora) to Chitungwiza flyover as a way of interviewing you🥺.
You take a pic wasvika kuFlyover as evidence

So apparently its suppose to test one’s drive, motivation and how one deals with challenges. The winning candidate took a taxi and got the job.

Read my book The Chartered Vendor. The smartest lady hired a taxi

On one hand, I sort of understand the reasoning behind it, the challenges they throw at potential candidates, since it’s a sales and marketing gig, you need people committed to getting the sales, but on the other hand, what in the world?… This is just so ….. cant think of anything polite to say…. What are your thoughts?

If you were having coffee with me, I would tell you that the remnants of Cyclone Freddy strengthened into yet another cyclone currently in the Mozambican channel continuing its long running streak. Initially it was projected to move away from mainland Africa but looks like it changed its mind…

Cyclone Freddy Track
Cyclone Freddy Zoom.earth

What’s been going on in your neck of the woods?


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Support my blog by me coffee or gold or a laundromat 😂




  1. No masks for me. I will wear one if I’m down with something that causes me to cough, but even then its only if I’m going to be around a larger group of people (over 10) that I can’t keep my distance from. You all are on your own!

    We hang most of our laundry on dry racks. In the winter the air is so dry that I use that to help moisturize the air. Plus, they dry out wicked quick! And by not using the dryer, I save some money!
    Which I don’t launder 😉


  2. No mask for me, unless required in an establishment I’m entering. They are still required in medical and dental facilities here, otherwise it’s up to each business to decide if they want to require masks/distancing or not.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I feel like your neck of the woods is always exciting.

    It is funny how some businesses won’t accept money that’s been “damaged.” I mean, money is just an idea that people treat as if it’s real. Paper money wouldn’t have any value if we didn’t act like it did, so can’t we just pretend that a little tear doesn’t matter? Or maybe we can all pretend that torn money is worth more, just like people are willing to pay more for ripped jeans.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. There is alwasy something lurking in these neck of the woods… hahaha my next article might just be titled that lurking!!

      Funny money…. Money is really just an idea with no value (mostly none anyway) outside of what we perceive it to be…. Maybe because I lived through an era where our local currency stopped working together and looks like we at a few minutes to experiencing again…. People just wake up like we dont want this money and refuse to accept it and boom its worthless paper

      hahaha I like the idea of money getting a higher value because it its ripped, like ripped jeans I am going to try that line next time I have ripped money… it might work!


      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’ve always wondered what would happen if people just woke up and refused to accept the standard currency. Probably bad things…

        I think you should start the ripped money thing. You could market it as “vintage” money 😂


  4. It tickled me when I read “God thing.” Great subconscious!
    We don’t use masks here, either. I was at a large gathering recently, with people from all over the country, and a few wore masks. I have to say that it just looked funny to me. As if there were aliens walking among us but no one seemed to notice.

    Money – I feel like we won’t be able to use real money soon enough. Stores can’t give you change sometimes because everyone pays with a card. Most of the money is dirty. If it’s damaged, you go to the bank and get it replaced because, yes, some might not accept it.

    I have this photo somewhere of my dryer filled with money. Long story short – someone didn’t take money out of pants pockets and had it go through the washing and drying cycle…

    The documentary sounds interesting.

    If you’re supposed to run, you’re supposed to run. I would have disqualified the woman who took a cab.

    I’m getting ready for the Spring forward time change this Sunday. zzzzzz

    Liked by 1 person

    1. LOL at “aliens walk among us” … maybe they do, werent they blowing up UFOs a couple of weeks back haha

      Quick question if you pay with cash and they dont have enough change what for happens? According to pop culture from TV only drug dealers and people who are being upto no good pay with cash or have large cash rolls

      The documentary sounds like the sort of thing that could cause the president to be impeached.. now that would be interesting. ..

      As for the lady who hired a cab, I agree with you… very unsportsmanlike conduct, I dont know her from pile of potatoes but I bet she is a terrible team player…

      We keep the same time across all seasons year after year after year lol

      Liked by 1 person

      1. They tell me that they don’t have change and I have to either abandon the transaction or abandon the money (of course I’m not going to do the latter).

        I mean, paying with a $100 bill posed no issues back in the day (unless you were buying something for a dollar, but then you just explained that you needed change for whatever else). Now, ‘bills no larger than $20’ are accepted at Subway when a sandwich can cost you $13.

        They’ve been talking about abolishing the time change for the past… 10 years or maybe more. Every year it’s supposed to happen next year. Maybe one day we will actually get to next year? Too bad aging doesn’t work like that. LOL


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