Of Coffee With Pirates, Bad Guys And BookClubs

If you were having coffee with me, I would be happy you decided to stop by, it’s a great day to visit, the weather looks cloudy with a chance of rain. The recent wet spells have made a difference, our Victoria Falls is now back to its majestic glory and you would not think it had reached a stage where people speculated on the possibility of it running dry.

If you were having coffee with me, I would tell you that according to data from Zambezi River Authority the level of the Zambezi River is raising.

The Kariba Dam lake levels although rising from the inflows are still low and at 10.95% usable storage, not significant enough to make an impact on the hydro-electricity power generation, so for now looks like our electricity issues will continue.

If you were having coffee with me, I would tell you that though I don’t want to jinx it, it seems like there’s been a slight improvement on the electricity front, for example right now we have mains electricity, it’s a rare feeling to have electricity during the day time as we have gotten used to having electricity between 10pm and 5am. Well it could be also because the electricity tariffs have gone up by 19%

If you were having coffee with me, I would ask you if you think Jack Sparrow is a good guy or bad guy? One of my last posts looks at this aspect of the guy to try to make sense of some of his actions.

Well regardless of his dubious moral compass and questionable sobriety, can we at least agree that  Pirates Of The Caribbean would not be the same without Jack Sparrow or with anyone else but Johnny Depp playing the pirate captain. I am happy to announce that it seems like Disney Executives are rethinking their decision to cast Zac Efron as Captain Jack Sparrow and it looks like Johnny Depp will be returning as Captain Jack Sparrow in the 6^th pirates of the Carribean.

If you were having coffee with me I would tell you about a fun little movie fact I learnt which may or may not change the next mystery movie you watch. It seems the Apple company controls its brand and image with an iron clad control which came to light during a Vanity Fair interview with Knives Out director Rian Johnson, who revealed that Apple won’t let villains and bad guys use iPhones onscreen.

“I don’t know if I should say this or not…not ‘cause it’s like, lascivious or something, but because it’s going to screw me on the next mystery movie that I write,” Johnson starts out. “Apple, they let you use iPhones in movies but—and this is very pivotal if you’re ever watching a mystery movie—bad guys cannot have iPhones on camera. So, oh no! Every single filmmaker that has a bad guy in their movie that’s supposed to be a secret wants to murder me right now.”

So next movie that you watch check for it, no baddies use iPhones.

I wonder what kind of phone Captain Jack Sparrow would have used if the Pirates of the Carribean movies had mobile phones in them…..

If you were having coffee with I would ask you if you know who did not get an Apple? Its our members of parliament. They had requested for iPads inorder to be ready to embrace the new digital tech and streamline government activities. Well, they got Samsung Tablets instead of Apple iPads and its shocking seeing some of the issues they raise in parliament like how they will use the tablets as they do not have simcards slots while another one was requesting that they get lessons on how to use these tablets since some may not be familiar with them….

“I would also like to say these tablets that we got – I think we need to have a 30-minute lesson for all of us because some of us are used to the I-phone and not Samsung. https://t.co/sKx5jEWiBC via @openparlyzw

— Open Parly ZW (@OpenParlyZw) February 24, 2020

I rise on a point of privilege. We were given these tablets but they do not have sim card slots. How does Parliament expect us to use them…, https://t.co/gsBEtNrG1N

— Open Parly ZW (@OpenParlyZw) February 26, 2020

I worry about our government officials, how will these guys usher us into a new age, when it seems like they cannot even handle using tech, yet occupy offices that need young blood who breathe and live the internet and make decisions on the country’s ICT policies.

If you were having coffee with me, I would tell you its another week in our currency dramas, we shifted to a mono-currency and ended the multi-currency era (don’t worry I live here and still don’t quite understand the fundamental economic principals our learned officials employ) but seems like that age is not quite done as no one quite has any faith in our local currency the Zim Dollar and even though local use of the foreign currency has been banned some businesses still do.

Recently it was announced that Fuel Service Stations could charge for fuel in foreign currency if they imported it in foreign currency but in the same breath the minister of finance and the reserve bank governor keep announcing that we not going backwards. I wonder what sort of phones these guys use.

If you were having coffee with me I would tell you about the latest development in this teapot shaped country, the government set to introduce Garrison shops which are subsidized shops where members of the defence forces can buy cheap goods. Its said to be this is a move to placate the army which is said to considering another coup. Another set of shops will be opened where the other civil servants can buy subsidized goods. This is all well and good but what about the rest of us who are not civil servants or army personnel ….

If you were having coffee with me, I would tell you that my Book Club  was discussing The HairDresser of Harare and had an opportunity to ask some questions to the author. Its always interesting finding out other’s opinions on a book and getting answers to questions from the horse’s mouth, like if something is real or not even though it says at the start:

“THIS NOVEL IS A WORK OF FICTION AND A PRODUCT OF THE AUTHOR’S IMAGINATION. THE AUTHOR’S USE OF ACTUAL NAMES AND PLACES IS NOT INTENDED TO CHANGE THE ENTIRELY FICTIONAL NATURE OF THE WORK. ANY LIKENESS TO PERSONS LIVING IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL.

We always want t know if there’s truth in a work a fiction.

“And if a novelist can make you believe that that fiction is somehow true, then they have succeeded.”  

Tendai Huchu

And let me just drop this last word from Tendai.

Final Note: Thank you guys for reading my work and engaging with it so intimately (note this even includes the folks who read the pirate version — you know who you are!). It warms an author’s heart. Please keep supporting Zimbabwean lit, you’re the oxygen our author’s need to thrive. No level of commercial success around the world can quite match the thrill of your own reading your shit. So, yeah, you’re all pretty dope and I wish your book group much success in the years to come.

You can read my review of the Hairdresser Of Harare by clicking on link below.

  Hello March

~B

PS Experts want to know what? If this were a movie I wonder if the experts would have iPhones.