Of Coffee With Monkey Business

If you were having coffee with me, I would be happy you came visit.

Hello February you sweetheart aren’t you glad January is over, finally. There’s something about February, perhaps it’s because I am a February baby, its written in the stars, February, words and ME; belong together.

So the year 2020 is a leap year, and that means:

Number 1 Olympics

And number 2 if you into that Valentine’s craziness, then this year, it’s the ladies treat and allow me to just say if you give me peanuts for Valentine’s day, then don’t be shocked when I start doing monkey business.

If you were having coffee with me, I would tell you that somewhere some monkeys are getting married. How do I know this? That’s what we call it when it rains and yet the sun is still shinning all and bright; no one needs candles when the sun is shining.

A sun shower or sunshower is meteorological phenomenon in which rain falls when the sun is shining

A curious thing I learnt about sun showers is that cultures around the world have a fairly common theme in naming them; animals getting married, tricksters or something devil related.

Growing up we always used to exclaim: “Monkey Wedding” when this happened.

If you were having coffee with me I would tell you that the Monkey Wedding eventually brewed into an all-night storm and boom went my neighbour’s tree crashing right into our yard like its the economy finally reaching rock bottom.

If you were having coffee with me, I would tell you that, from a week ago we still haven’t got electricity in my neighborhood and it turns out its because “vandals” stole cables from the electricity transformer substation. Someone organized a meeting of all the households affected by the power blackout so we could find a way to lobby the Power Utility ZESA to quickly attend to the situation or if there are expenses that need covering which can expedite the process, so everyone can pitch in.

During the meeting it was also agreed to start a sort of neighbourhood watch committee especially with the rising crime rate, but its always difficult getting people who have never actually met before to agree to who does what and who will pay for what and most importantly who accounts for any money raised.

One good thing from all this is that for the first time I got to meet and talk to people I have lived in close proximity with but never met before. My late grandad would probably exclaim in shock at how city people have no roots living next door to each other yet never speaking except when you hear crying and realise there’s a funeral then going over to introduce yourself and pay respects… We need to stop monkeying around; we should do better.

If you were having coffee with me, I would tell you that life without electricity kinda feels like, like, like there is a thing around your neck making it difficult to breathe, eat or even just enjoy life. I can almost imagine that’s what this endangered Siamese crocodile in Indonesia must be feeling which has had a tyre from a motorbike stuck around its neck since it was first spotted three years ago in Palu Bay and Palu Bay.

To date unsuccessful attempts at removing the tyre which included an “animal whisperer” you would think the crocodile would realise that people are trying to help it and not scare them off or attempt to eat them but even big reptiles act like monkeys with sharp razor teeth.

Indonesian authorities have announced that “A reward will be given to anyone who can release the hapless reptile”

So if you fancy yourself a bit of an expert, there’s money to be made.

If you were having coffee with me, I would tell you that our president is also known as Garwe meaning crocodile and used to be the head behind a faction called Lacoste(named after the brand with signature crocodile logo)

This was before becoming president after which he took to wearing a Zim-flag themed scarf around his neck come rain, come shine, all year round.

I am not saying that thing around his neck makes it hard for him to breathe but  I heard someone exclaim how he might be the thing around our neck, there’s whispers of coups and such in the corridors of power but since I prefer my neck attached to my neck I will just sip my coffee and ask if you need a refill.

If you were having coffee with me, I would tell you that I finally watched a performance adapted from Eve Ensler’s play The Vagina Monologues.

What do you get when you mix a play about "Down There": with a place where no one ever comes back from like the Chinhoyi Caves;
And four spirited performers.

A full house, a standing ovation and a very interesting yet necessary discourse.

The Vagina Monologues pic.twitter.com/a3t7f82w6w

— ~B 🇿🇼 (@Beatonm5) February 1, 2020

Apparently I am like the show’s biggest fan and got to meet the show’s producer and some of the cast. Naturally my very next post will be a review of the play so watch this space for my experience and thought of the production…..

Guess who I met in Harare, finally pic.twitter.com/geKtXZvhoF

— Shona lako Bulawayo (@mawarirechypo) February 1, 2020

Have you seen, read or heard about this play?

Cheers to the coming week and happy heart month ^_^

~B

PS The lights just came back on, yet I can still feel it, like a monkey on my shoulder with its hands around my neck, the thing around my neck that makes it difficult to dream.