Of Coffee With Snakes And Miscommunication

If you were having coffee with me, I would be happy you came visiting and I would tell you to watch out for the snakes..  “What snakes?” You would ask wondering if I meant that I had spilled snacks on the couch… well I may have.

How to Clean Your Home in 5 Minutes! - Little Mama Jama

Ok lets get the facts straight I love snacks and I hate snakes… and I mean snakes snakes not the human snakes, but then come think of I hate, snakes of the people kind too.

So the other day I spotted a snake in the house, no worries it was the harmless garden snake, but tell that to my brain which comes to the illogical irrational conclusion all snakes must die…

You know whats worse than seeing a snake in the house? Its when you can find it when you call for backup to help you deal with the slithering serpent. In case you are wondering it was eventually found, had crawled beneath the fridge, for warmth apparently, it may or may not be free out in world or dead, pick the option that helps you sleep at night.

And you know whats not a fun story? When you tell a neighbour about your snake episode and they tell you a convoluted tale about how back in the colonial days there used to be a snake keeper in the neighborhood and when independence arrived and they left, they simply let out the snakes from they enclosures…

I did not need to know that story now, I constantly searching for snakes in every rustling sound I hear… I don’t understand why I hate snakes so, probably something to do with their lack of toes, which make me lacktoes intolerant

If you were having coffee with me I would tell you that outside of the snake opera, you know the Victoria Falls right? Well, the Zimbabwean resort town named after the Falls was granted City Status, the city of Victoria Falls.

His Worship the Mayor of the City of Victoria Falls, presented the President of Zimbabwe with a teak casket containing a scroll and key of the City. I have always wondered what’s with the robes and wigs and chains?

If you were having coffee with me I would tell you that the president thanked the Victoria Falls Council for giving him freedom of thei city and an investigative news agency reported him as having spoken a different language. One would think a local news agency would at least have done the investigative journalism to figure out what language the president was speaking.

 The president had spoken in Tonga one of the 16 official languages of Zimbabwe. Yep we have 16 officially recognised languages although some of them are in the minority, they certainly cant be dismissed as simply a different language. After some backlash they tried to do some damage control

Who knew spelling epistemology could be easier than spelling apology… yeah doesn’t look like one either.

And speaking of language policies, a local bank found its self in a social media storm after a client had tweeted customer service using Ndebele language and was asked to respond in English, the fact that they had staff readily on hand to respond to Shona queries did not sit well with people.

The tweet was eventually deleted but the internet does not forget…

In other news of an apology not happening

If you were having coffee with me I would ask you exactly whose door does one open when they have the keys to the city… its something I have always wondered or is it just a meaningless gesture just like the ceremonial mayors we have who have no executive powers to actually run the city.

We blame the city fathers for failing to provide service delivery and making reckless decisions but then on closer look the hidden hand of the government is pulling the strings and refusing to loosen the purse string to bankroll the budget municipality needs to function.

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A recent streak of demolitions of illegal structures in undesignated areas had people crying out how unfeeling the city fathers were to carry out this directive in the rainy season. The city council blames the government’s ministry of local government and public works under which it operates, while the government blames the opposition led city council…  and what do we know?

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Well, just last week I was wondering where the Mayor was, he was in jail but is now out on bail… so who runs these things..

If you were having coffee with me I would tell you that our government in its great benevolence to look after its citizens has decreed that all cars imported from countries that have experienced nuclear incidents are to be inspected for radiation contamination and decontaminated for a fee of course.

Sometimes I wonder where we are headed as a country…

The promise

The current settings

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So whats been going on in your neck of the woods?

~B

*update The Mayor of Harare who was out on bail was arrested again for for allegedly trying to bribe Special Anti Corruption Unit officers…

25 Comments

  1. I am not a huge fan of either kind of snake. But I must confess to disliking human snakes even more!
    Sending good thoughts your way and hoping that the government turmoil is resolved positively for you and for us… These are truly crazy times!
    Thank you for the coffee my friend😊

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m glad you were able to capture the snake. Did you make shoes out of its skin?
    The “please speak English” made me laugh. Maybe they’re outsourcing their customer service to other countries?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Should have made shoes from its skin… Or a belt… But I think they would give me nightmares or would I get used to the slytherines🤣🤣
      Next snake will try

      I laughed out loud at the outsource of customer service.. I don’t think they do and I actually remember a time I sent an application in response to their call for customer care reps I never got a reply 🤣🤣…

      And of course twitter being twitter I think customer care people need to take serious social media lessons to be able to diffuse potentially troublesome situations before they escalate

      And simply deleting a post won’t solve anything it makes it even harder to control the situation because now there’s no anchor or context, just outraged clients and potential clients and this bank has a certain notoriety for having terrible customer care ,(I would know it’s my bank too on the rare occasion I actually go to a bank 😂 it was one of the few that didn’t have hectic account opening requirements they wanted people to sign up en masse and they got way more than they can handle)
      ~B

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Social media reps are meant to be robots. You get a Tweet that belongs in category A, you reply with Abc. Tweet for category B warrants a Bcd reply. No variations are available. Strict copy + paste. That’s NOT to cause bigger problems… Well…

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh my goodness, I was giggling through the whole snake, snack escapades! Hahaha, I think you have ophidiophobia!! Because you sound just like me with my arachnophobia!!! I can tell you a few crazy stories about spiders and actually wrote a blog post about a particular spider incident as a teenager. It’s called “The Spider” and I wrote it on Sept 11, 2017. (I have no idea how to link it here with my phone, so if your interested you’ll have to find on my blog!) But reading your slithering snake under the fridge, and then the neighbor telling you more stories, oh that’s me and spiders!! Hate them, despise them creepy crawling yucky arachnids, hard to think about them! 🤣🤣🤣

    And then I kept reading and I was giggling again because they didn’t know what language? And WOW, 16 official languages. That’s so many! But glad they figured it out. Thank you for the coffee and the giggles!! (I’m not afraid of snakes, even though I would not really enjoy one slithering around my house!) Have a great week!! 🤠

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    1. 🤣🤣🤣 Had to Google just to make sure yep seems a lot like ophidiophobia will search for your spider story I’m cool with spiders though the really big ones unsettle me just a wee bit

      Yep 16 languages although 2 of those probably account for at least 70% if not more of the will have to research it up do a language post it’s always been on to do since the time I discovered at some point Zimbabwe was in the Guinness book of world records for having the most number of official languages… Sure some countries have way more languages but they aren’t recognized officially in their constitution but it’s crazy how we act like English is the only official language.

      Thanks for visiting and have an awesome week
      ~B

      Liked by 1 person

    1. At some point they even shared the same name… So yeah 🤣🤣
      I was reading this book The Old Drift (there’s a review post a few posts back hint hint)and was shocked to realise how much even our history is similar and is it surprising that our present would be still same.
      The things we could learn from each other but no seems like we want to make our own mistakes 🤣
      ~B

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh yes I read the review! It made me a proud Zambian 🤣

        We are so determined to outdo each other negatively 😂

        Like

    1. 3 are definitely taught in school countrywide although the others are more ‘localised’ and taught within specific communities in early childhood education as the education act stipulates that the language of instruction in early childhood education be as close to a learner’s home language.
      But the two major languages are Shona and Ndebele and anyone you meet from here is likely to be able to speak either of the two or both, the others you would only run into if you went to specific community e.g. the Tonga who live in the area surrounding the Victoria Falls.
      ~B

      Like

    1. Good exercise 😂
      Sounds like building up to have a white Christmas…
      I miss snow, even if I haven’t seen it in my life🤣🤣
      Is there an easy way to shovel snow or you just shovel or be trapped till it thaws
      ~B

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I suppose it’s easy if you have snow blower, but that only works with powdery snow..if it’s a heavy wet snow, no other choice but to shovel. Thankfully our apartment complex does the sidewalk and plows the parking lot, never waited for a thaw just a plow. Happier that I don’t further North although I lived through about 4 blizzards in my lifetime…Where you essentially do have to wait for some thawing lol

        Like

  4. As usual, your writing is so entertaining 🙂. I also am not fond of snakes. It used to be worse where if I saw a picture of a snake in a magazine I used to throw the magazine across the room. I did an NLP desensitisation process, and that has improved the situation a lot – I can look at a live snake (in an enclosure) or see it on TV or a photo in a magazine without freaking out … but it doesn’t mean I want to come ‘face-to-face’ one 😳

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I actually love snakes, but notsomuch the human kind. The language erasure is depressing, especially in such a high news moment. Thank you for this. Wishing you the best.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. If I’m not mistaken you should be the first person in my comments who loves snakes of the reptile kind🤣
      Quick question would you or do you have a snake as a pet…. So I know to add
      you to a do not visit list 🤣
      This is how languages just disappear into oblivion and a part of our identity along with it… I sometimes find it disturbing how I’m more fluent in English than any of my indigenous languages

      Thank you for visiting
      ~B

      Like

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