How I almost joined the Illuminati.
Before you continue reading, I just wanted you to know that you do not have to gather your prayer warrior aunties and pray for the deliverance of my immortal soul, its safe, with me, for now, but not saying you should not pray for me, everybody needs a little prayer.
The good book 1 Timothy 6 verse 10 reads: For the love of money is the root of all of evil
You cannot serve both God and Money and I find it fascinating how the Shona word for God, Mwari is similar to the Shona word for money, mari.
Money is casually interpreted as the root of all evil…
But this leaves out, The Love of money. It also conveniently does not address the need and desperation for money. Some people lie awake at night thinking about the things they did to get their wealth (some sleep peacefully on their large thread count imported sheets) others lie awake thinking about the things they could do to get money. And this is not simply because they love money for the love of it, but money has become the default currency for life, without it, you will not have a place to live or even food to eat, let alone clothes to wear unless you subject yourself to the mercy and kindness of strangers, friends and family…
Church is filled with people trying to strike all sorts of bargains with God for a breakthrough and prosperity.
If someone will pray for it, someone will pay for it, someone will work for it, someone will steal for it, someone will kill for it and someone will scam for it…
If I had a little money….
Well, it seemed my wish was going to be answered when out of the blue, someone left a comment a about how The Illuminati was recruiting…
You have heard of them right, the super secret, shadowy, cultic organisation that is said to run the New World Order. Its said that they can open doors into fame, ultra-rich and powerful circles with fraternities that include world leaders, celebrities and other professionals, all for the bargain price of your soul.
What is the purpose of a soul anyway? Elizabeth Hurley as The Devil in the Faust themed movie Bedazzled says It’s like your appendix. You’ll never even miss it.
Anyway this guy who claims to be Grand Master leaves a comment on my blog:
You are thinking, of course it’s a scam right? So did I, but also I was curious and a little voice did whisper what if they are the real deal, curiosity should also be right up there next to money as the root of evil.
I enquired how this would work and the Grand Master said to join this “Illuminati” I had to print out and complete a recruitment form, then I would have to send via Western Union the sum of $350 to an agent with Nigerian address and contact number…
Having looked at the form which looked like a template for voluntary identity theft not to mention the part about sending naked pictures which might end up on internet sites, the part about sending $350 was the deal-breaking red flag on how this was all an internet scam or 419.
One of the last messages I sent the Grand Master before I was eventually blocked, was why not just waiver the $350 and collect it from the 100s of thousands I would be making weekly… He said the $350 was to pay for the initiation ceremony and would include the Illuminati Robes, a certificate of membership and a few other paraphernalia I would need to open doors into the secret society, also the fee was a sort of commitment fee to weed out chancers…
I can imagine if one were to get scammed in such a scheme they would never tell anyone, I mean how would you explain that you were trying to sell your soul?
The thing with selling your soul is that, you can never sell a part of it you might think you can trade off a little bit, but it’s an all or none process and when you do sell it, make sure you get a darn good price for it because you can’t put a price on a soul.
Lastly, its not yours to sell, not even for all the riches in the world, but should you lose it, redemption is possible.
PS they also say it cant buy you happiness, I just want to be rich enough to find out for myself, maybe they just dont know where to shop.