Of Coffee With The BestMan

If you were having coffee with me; I would be happy to see you visit and I would tell you about how I was my brother’s best-man. And yes, I’ll wait while you congratulate us. Please don’t ask me when mine is, it’s the first question I was getting throughout the weekend during small talk with the fam.

Its crazy how for one day I got to dress my older brother as his best man, even tie his shoes, the man who taught me how to tie my own.

smart inotangira mutsoka

On Friday morning we got up at the crack of dawn to be at the magistrate’s court for the civil union certificate aka Marriage Certificate in a Chapter 5.11 marriage also known as an out of community of property union. This type of marriage only recognizes a monogamous union and spouses own property individually and one is not liable to the other’s debt. In the eventuality of death the estate goes to the surviving spouse.

All that and the other finer details of what a Chapter 5.11 were explained to a court room full of couples ready to take their relationship to the next level. The marriage officer would then go from couple to couple so they could make their vows in the presence of 2 witnesses and by the powers vested in them by the state, pronounce you husband and wife and you may now kiss the bride.

If you were having coffee with me I would tell you a curious thing I noticed how some enterprising folks have found a way to milk money from would-be couples by hiring out wedding outfits worn during the marriage oath taking and some by taking photographs of the civil union ceremony.

I felt some of it was borderline extortion like the case of the ones who claim tables and chairs, then put décor on them and you have to pay a fee to book a table, otherwise you have to wait and wait and wait. One wonders in what should be a public institution, how does one end up charging people to seat and exercise their constitutional right to a marriage, how does happen beneath the nose of the law, in its very courtrooms.

If you were having coffee with me, I would tell you that the thing with a court wedding, just like that *finger snap* you are married, gives it a certain unreal element. I now understand why people want the fun fair and drama of going through a wedding ceremony with a crowd to witness and celebrate. The next day we had a proper gathering, which frankly was mostly for show since my brother and his beautiful bride we already married before the eyes of the law, society expects weddings, a wedding was had….

Wedding ceremony, the bride, her maid of honour the groom and his best man

We had a decent crowd attend my brother’s wedding at a garden venue and once again my brother exchanged wedding vows with his bride before friends and family, kissed the bride; there was cake, mini brides threw flower petals and the bridal team danced.

kissing the bride
kissing the bride

And the bride and groom walked hand in hand and disappeared into the sunset… it was beautiful.

Oh and since I had the Groom’s phone(s) as the best man everyone thought I would know where they had disappeared off to, maybe I did maybe I did not, but I aint telling.

If you were having coffee with me what I would tell you is part of the speech I gave as the best man, I did not have many words to say except share a bible scripture I remember vaguely from Sunday school memory verses about creation

And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good.

Genesis 1:31

I then asked everyone in the room if this is not good and I had everyone chanting This Is Good

And behold this is good

Planning a wedding is quite a stressful process, and one thing I have learnt is that unexpected problems will creep up but at the end of the day you everything will work out (eventually) and no matter how well you plan an event you still need people to show up.

If you were having coffee with me, I would tell you that Dear Future Wife if you are reading this I really do not want the stress of planning a huge wedding affair can we keep it low key; a small ceremony at the back of our yard with an intimate gathering and if you want the works then we get a wedding planner (if we you can afford one)

Here’s to wishing you an awesome week, if I disappear for awhile I might be taking a honeymoon of my own one must recharge after all this adulting ^_^


PS and then just when you think it’s over, the bride needs to be escorted to her new family’s home (Kuperekwa) by her aunt(s) Sometimes it almost feels like trying to make an honest spouse out of your partner is a crime whose sentence is arduous and for a second you understand why some people simply choose to cohabitate and skip the drama

**there should be really beautiful pictures to go with this post, but my current data plan is ultra limited these streets are now expensive



  1. Enlightenment
    As always
    I had a dream about you the other night. I’ll share it with you one day. It was definitely about you and your future wife.

    Take care Be
    Hugs from a distance

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I was reading this wondering, where are the pictures!? Please make a plan, congratulations to your brother and family

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Was looking back at my wedding today and how stressful it was and how quickly it passes by and i realised how it is really not about the couple but the larger families and how excited they were about our union, lucky both families really did the works and made it happen ( they insisted on the whole big wedding) we had over 300 people……………

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are so right about a wedding being less about the couple in a morbid way its like the way a funeral is less for the deceased more for the closure of those who remain….
      People love weddings ^_^ we got over 300 people attending even though for a second I was almost sure I cold not think of 100 people who would come, its strange like that and its the only other time you see some relatives, that funerals lol

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Congratulations to you and your brother. May love and happiness fill his home.
    We want pics, we want pics 🤣🤣
    Court weddings should be the in thing. Saves the couple from an embarrassing MC and if you can’t dance, it helps🤣🤣

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Congratulations to your brother and his new wife. yeah, after being married in front of the law, it is good to have a celebration with friends and family. It doesn’t have to be huge or fancy, just something to smile about. Have a great week 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. you are so right Trent when you state it like that it seems so simple, but good luck convincing that to a bride who has had a dream of fairytale wedding and for a day they want to be a princess♥♥♥

      Liked by 2 people

      1. There is that… I was lucky, my wife didn’t need a fairy tale wedding, so ours was pretty simple, though still nice – we did all of the planning and everything, so I’m glad it wasn’t too elaborate 😉

        Liked by 2 people

  6. “I really do not want the stress of planning a huge wedding affair can we keep it low key; a small ceremony at the back of our yard with an intimate gathering and if you want the works then we get a wedding planner (if you can afford one)”

    My wish too. I wish your brother and his spouse the best time. I enjoyed reading this.


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