Of The Fish That Got The Cat

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Let me take you back to before all this instant message social networking, don’t worry, we wont go back to as far as snail-mail and finding penpals in columns of Parade, Moto, Horizon, Look and Listen, Drum, Bona and later People Magazine. When you wanted to meet new people you had to actually go outside and hang out where real people hung out.

This was easy enough, unless of course, you were the less outgoing variety and would rather much stay home and listen to the radio. A moment of silence in honour of those radio personalities who spend hours behind the microphone seeming like they are talking to only you and you alone. Radio was like a meeting place listening to other people call in and sometimes you might just feel brave enough to call in too.

listening to the radio

On Sundays there would be some Your Song Date Line phone-in session where callers would call to talk about the type of people they wanted to meet and leave their numbers and interested people would get in touch. I used to tune in and listen while making funny faces at all the callers who were brave and stupid enough to air their desperation on national radio, I mean what would be wrong with you that you needed a radio DJ to help you meet new people; not mention that your number would be broadcasted to all sorts of weirdos out there.

Mostly I was just jealous because I was not brave enough to be stupid. So, every Sunday I listened to the callers and their phone-in song requests which really was the best part of the programme anyway, cause then the radio played the songs people wanted than their curated playlists which they claim are the popular songs.. They are popular because you keep telling us these are the popular songs.

Anyway, there I am, listening and making aside comments in my head… when a caller made me freeze; she sounded like an old crush I had heard briefly, right down to the way words rolled off her tongue, she wanted to connect with book lovers and her number was 091…… I didn’t even realise it but I had punched in the number in my phone.

Her name was.. lets call her [redacted] and her number was… busy try again later. How could it not be, I bet everyone who had been listening was busy trying to call her, well, I know I was. Suddenly I was a teenager again, awkward and painfully shy. She had requested Leona Lewis’ hit song Bleeding Love and every time the phone busy tone sounded I was cut open and kept bleeding, bleeding…

Eventually I settled for sending an SMS, something along the lines of:

Hi I am B.. heard you on radio, you remind me of someone, did you ever participate in the Lyons National High School public speaking. You have a lovely voice, what sort of books do you read maybe we might exchange titles.

Had to keep it under 160 characters, $1 only got you 10 text messages, so had to make every sms count and of course she didn’t reply… not immediately. Had half-forgotten sending the message when days later a message from an unknown number came through…

Hi B. I am using my mum’s phone reply on my number don’t have text messages.. Its [redacted] from radio…

Of course, I hustled and send her the recharge voucher numbers for a mega value text top-up which got you 25 texts to the dollar. We texted up a storm, and what a coincidence, she had turned out to be a long lost crush, someone I had seen briefly on stage and never again and radio radio had brought us together.

We had so much in common, had gone to sister catholic schools, had the same mission school stories, read the same fantasy books, had the same favourite colour, loved the same movies, same songs, same everything, she was that oh my gosh me too vibe and we quickly graduated to those no you hang up phone calls.

No you hang up

Of course the next logical thing was to meet, somewhere public and safe because hello, the world is full of weirdos.

Set a date for the Eastgate Skywalk Food Court…

How will you know it’s me… I will know you… I will be the girl in the yellow dress and I will be the guy dressed in black holding a yellow flower… black and yellow black and yellow what a contrast.

black and yellow couple

Of course I was nervous, butterflies in my tummy, common sense leaving my body, as I went up the escalator to the Skywalk.. Well, common sense hadn’t entirely left, see the flower was tucked into the sleeve of my jacket out of sight, until,…

I spotted her, lets just say, she was not who I had expected, the word catfish comes to mind but back then there hadn’t been a name for it. I was a young and Shallow B, so I walked right past the fishcat.

fishcat
Fishcat

From the corner of my eye, I saw her reach for her phone and presumably dial my number because shortly afterwards I could feel my phone vibrate in my pocket, good thing had put it on silent just before the recon mission. I let it ring.

One Missed Call

I didn’t turn around as I calmly walked out of our happy ever after.

stood up date

She never tried calling me again, neither did I.

How do you get over someone you never dated, with great difficulty, she had pretended to be my old crush and in turn, I stood her up… who scammed whom?

~B

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36 Comments

  1. that brought up a memory of the same type, newspaper personal ad, meet at the mall in my early 20’s. Saw her, removed the signature hat I said Id be wearing, just kept walking past her, then left. This was precell days. Never heard from her again.

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  2. This has been a very fun read😂😂😂
    Really cute ☺
    I guess she played you but you beat her to it in the end, kudos 👏🏾

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    1. Glad my escapades could entertain you…
      In hindsight I realise that she was like a mirror reflecting everything I did and did back to me… I wonder how much of our interaction was genuine…
      We will never know.
      Thanks
      ~B

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  3. “Mostly I was just jealous because I was not brave enough to be stupid.”

    But you did! 😂 Can’t remember how many times I laughed and said u really cute. Haha 😌 I think catfish is a new generational term, I didn’t know, had to search it in google 😂 Kudos for dodging a bullet there, very clever. 👏😂 Thanks for sharing this, B! You make me laugh.

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  4. The small chance that if we reach out we will make a meaningful connection makes us keep putting ourselves out there.

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      1. To be honest, I have walked by on a meet up too (he hadn’t lied in any way, but I had pictured him so differently and I just kept walking straight by!) , but it still feels so wrong to have done so! Indeed, hopefully we become better people. :))

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  8. 😂😂😂😂😂😂but why and for some reason am here thinking much on how this girl actually felt after being stood up. We believe guys can handle rejection but the ladies forget the masked ones it must have been hell for her.

    She lied ,you were brave but who knows her tales may have been true.

    At the end of the day you were each looking for someone you didn’t recognize👌👌✌️

    As always thanks for sharing tough hey

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    1. yep, now that I am older and wiser, I actually feel for her, like she knew I would know and the lie would be exposed maybe she wanted to come clean start on a new slate… and how much of our interaction was real, my guess is it started as a game bad feelings got caught
      and yikes being stood up.. bad Beaton You will be pleased to know that I never did that to anyone’s daughter again.
      hahaha had to dig this one up from the closet of stories I promised to take to my grave..,
      Thanks for reading Connie
      ~B

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  9. Haha, I’m reading through your comments and I bet we all have a story or two we will take to the grave. Great post, and I didn’t see it coming at the end. You write so well, got me giggling too… Thank you for sharing!! 🤠

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    1. hahaha too true and it was fascinating to find that others have gone through somewhat similar scenarios I guess its part of the learning curve of life, to do things and learn from them hmmm that should be the meaning of life, I should write that down somewhere.

      Hahaha I wrote it in a way so that when you got to the end you would be in my shoes… see, I hadnt seen that coming either.
      Thanks
      ~B

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    1. hahaha glad to be of muse and that managed to walk you down memory lane…
      I wonder if mine was the one that got away lol I need closure ha!
      Thank you for visiting
      ~B

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  12. Are you sure it wasn’t your old crush? Maybe she had changed over the years?
    Quite the story.
    I remember when I first heard my voice on the radio. It was SO cool. It became addicting to call (and win stuff). In college, I even got an internship at the radio but I think I only did a couple of shows before I got tired of these big personalities trying to overshadow others.

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    1. I cant say for sure if it wasnt her or not, hahaha I guess I will never now just like will never know how it would have played out had we sat down and talked…

      Any intentions of reconnecting with radio… hmmm podcast maybe?
      ~B

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