Of Battle Of The Johns: Rambo VS Wick

One of the last books I read The Kite Runner (you can read my review here) was set in Afghanistan and that got me thinking on my earliest memories of Afghanistan being from the Slyvester Stallone movie Rambo III

Barring that I was probably too young to be watching Rambo and I most likely watched more than half of the Rambo movies from behind the couch peeking through gaps between my fingers I was awe-struck; this one man army was the force of freedom…

A part of my mind forever refers to Sylvester Stallone as John Rambo and that memory quietly resided in some dusty corner in my head until Hollywood decided to violently shake out the cobwebs by unleashing the one-man-killing-machine for one last ride four decades after he drew first blood, Rambo Last Blood.

Rambo Last Blood is best described as an orgy of violence; decapitations, impalements, explosions and incinerations galore! He cuts out someone’s heart from their chest and glares at it!!!!

Rambo Last Blood is the most violent thing I have seen this year, next to John Wick pic.twitter.com/9mtguyYxVc

— ~B 🇿🇼 (@Beatonm5) December 26, 2019

Knowing the movie world I bet this will not be the last time we see John Rambo…

After watching this movie a thought has been rattling around in my head about whom would win a fight to death between John Rambo and John Wick

Who would win a hunt to the death

John Rambo vs John Rambo

— ~B 🇿🇼 (@Beatonm5) December 26, 2019

John Rambo VS John Wick

Kill Counters

John Rambo has a higher body count but also more movies… if we get more movies in the John Wick franchise bodies will pile up.

Flair

John Wick has a certain poetic style, he kills with choreographic movement looking dapper in suit and tie.

John Rambo is blunt force trauma, like a caveman with hammer in a pottery shop.

Skillset

John Wick

Trained as an assassin; marksman with multiple skills including martial arts, firearms, knives, edged weapons, improvised weapons, tactical driving, infiltration

John is a man who keeps himself in great shape and maintains a strict level of training. His strength, speed, reflexes, agility, durability, and stamina are in top conditioning, for a man of his age.

John Rambo

Trained Green Beret and Special Ops with battle skills, mastery of weapons, knives, hand to hand combat and guerilla tactics such as stealth, sentry removal, demolitions and such.

John is a man who’s been trained to ignore pain, ignore weather, to live off the land, to eat things that’ll make a billy goat puke.

Battle Setting

John Wick would win if the fight happens in a urbanscape, where there are abundant supply of weapons.

Rambo would win if the fight happens in a desert or a forest setting where the two fighters have to survive the elements and fight at the same time or if he had time to set up booby-traps.

Weapon of choice

Rambo uses anything he can get his hands on; usually a survival knife or compound bow. Sometimes his bare hands. Also known to use an M60.

John Wick (Keanu Reeves) uses a Heckler & Koch P30L fitted with a custom compensator as his primary firearm but he can kill with a pencil or even a book.

• Verdict

These guys are so evenly matched the winner of this battle would probably be due to blind luck giving someone tactical advantage..

But if the fight were to end up in hand to hand combat John Wick would win on account of being younger and fitter… although Rambo would have won had a younger version of him fought John Wick.

John Wick’s anger can be used against him to get him to do tactically unsound manoeuvres i.e. dumb sh*t like lets say Rambo kills or kidnaps John Wick’s new dog and uses it to lure John Wick into a deadly ambush.

Plot twist you might want to consider:

What if Rambo is John Wick’s father?

Both named John, look alike, same personality, timeline fits….

~B