If you were having coffee with me, I would be quite happy you joined me, and you would help me settle a tiny tiny dispute or rather back me up, when the storm starts. See, a few months ago my neighbours cut down a tree and a part of it fell over the wall and into our yard.
It would not be petty of us to claim the part that landed on our side as ours right? Any legal gurus reading this?
If you were having coffee with me, I would tell you that you can join me use the last of firewood from the conflict tree to cook a meal of mazondo possibly known as cow feet, cow hooves or cow trotters even though none of that quite accurately describes this sawed cow ankle bone meal.
If you were having coffee with me, I would tell you that in some circles this is quite the delicacy but it takes a long time cooking as you boil the leathery skin till it’s soft and chewy. One definitely cant afford to have this pot on the electric or gas stove, besides there hardly ever is electricity and the gas prices are outrageous so we will have to owe mother earth another apology for the deforestation, and pray that we come up with sustainable renewable energy solutions soon.
Our president seems to be a fan of this down to earth meal that he had it served mile high, in the luxury of a chartered jet, maybe to keep himself grounded on his frequent flights.
If you were having coffee with me I would tell you that on Wednesday the 10th of October Uganda; The Pearl Of Africa celebrated 57 years of independence and in what seems common to most African countries for some people, it’s hard to celebrate when there’s so much that still needs to be addressed but still we strive. Our head of state flew to Uganda to celebrate with his Ugandan counterpart as a guest of honour where he was awarded with The Most Excellent Order Of The Pearl. Grand Master
The Most Excellent Order Of The Pearl Of Africa. Grand Master (Nishani Ubora wa Lulu ya Afrika in Swahili) is the highest honour Uganda awards to heads of state and government. I am not entirely sure what this lofty award entails and a few of my Ugandan friends also had no clue or even to the merits of this honour which sounds reminiscent of former Ugandan President Idi Amin who at one point accorded himself the title:
His Excellency, President for Life, Field Marshal Al Hadji Doctor Idi Amin Dada, VC, DSO, MC, Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Seas and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular
If you were having coffee with me I would tell you that our frequent flyer head of state then left for Lyons, France; where he made a $1 million dollar pledge to the Global Fund for the global fight against HIV/Aids, TB and Malaria; in a gesture that seems either very generous, reckless or calculated to get onto the world’s good graces. Zimbabwe has benefitted over $1.7 billion of the Global Fund and maybe this was a way to ensure that door is always open. Although one wonders how the country would raise money like that, considering our runaway inflation which seems to be rivalling Venezuela for the number one spot and a perilous health sector.
If you were having coffee with me I would tell you that we may eat the same as the president but questioning aspects of his administration if deemed threatening, abusive or insulting intending to provoke a breach or possibility that a breach of the peace may be provoked is a potentially criminal offence with cases of people who have been hauled to courts on charges of disorderly conduct which contravenes Section 41(b) of the Criminal Law (codification and reform ) Act. One such case recently got acquitted but of course a point has been made, one is careful how one speaks, or writes.
Imagine if you had a parent who was hardly ever home, travelling in luxury attending all sorts of parties in the name of looking for presents to bring home seeming like an all round model parent, meanwhile home is a place with no running water, you running out of basics and you running away from the darkness because your parent forget to pay the electricity bill.
Don’t forget to wash your hands with warm soapy water, this most excellent mazondo leaves a sticky residue on your hands, bone apple tea.
Well whats going on with you and have an epic week ahead.
~B
Becoming The Muse 
My neighbour sent a message:
Hi, We are going to build a wall over 2 weeks. Afterwards we will ask for access to your yard to collect the trees that fall into your yard. There will be a razor wire between our yards so your dogs don’t cross into our yard. Afterwards we will put the razor wire on top of the new wall.
My big dogs are in love with their miniture dogs so mine crossed anyway, blood and open skin didn’t stop them.
After 6 weeks the wall was finally completed and I wondered whether to send a reminder to come fetch trees and razor wire. Waited for a week then chopped the trees. Decorated the yard with the logs.
Waited another week, then removed their razor wire with cuts and bruises.
It has been 3 weeks and neighbour still has not come for their stuff.
https:flic.kr/p/2huQ9SR
https:flic.kr/p/2huPc2w
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Well if I were having coffee with you, I would tell you that in Uganda we enjoy Mazondo too, and our version is called “Molokony”, what I wouldn’t have is an answer for however is why your president was honored by ours with The most Excellent Order of the Pearl of Africa because other than what we are being told, none of us knows the criteria for the award, but that said, I would congratulate you upon another great post!!
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hahaha here’s to a nicely stewed pot of the most excellent order of molokony and to questions without answers and other weird things our politicians dabble in.
Thank you for dropping by
~B
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Haha, yes to the stewed pot of Mazondo, I can only hope the future grants us the answers we seek
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hahaha its like one needs a neighbourhood contract thats enforced by a third party just to keep everyone nice and civil and something to refer to in case of erm dispute.
Here’s to keeping our conflict trees and having barbecues lol What did you do with said razor wire; fold it up and stash it somewhere outback?
~B
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True.
To conflict trees!
Yip, its folded up and stashed somewhere outback.
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By some measures, the most graceful of reactions is the direct opposite of that which is most petty.
I have no such smart remarks to share about the sensibilities of politicians, only variations of disgust.
Sigh. . . . .
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I had to read that again and slowly ^_^
slow clap spot on!!!
Well, politricks aside, cheers to the week and thanks for dropping by
~B
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The white meal, what is it made of?
The food looks delicious.
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The white part is the starch that is our staple food sadza (cooked from maize flour) here’s how its cooked https://wp.me/p3NqTj-1S5
~B
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I knew the passport situation was bad but I didn’t realise that the situation had gotten to this extent. May the universe hear our cries, Zimbabwe needs a break through 😦
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I read somewhere that a “Passport Committee” will soon be arranged to assess and vet passport applications that need to be processed quickly like medical emergencies and such; to eliminate corruption they say.
… at this rate you may have to write a motivation letter and include references to get a passport.
~B
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Only part of queue for people waiting to get passports? Sho!
We call it makondo, z/d…
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Imagine thats like maybe half of the queue, it goes round the block to get the passport offices and thats before the queue even gets inside the actual passport offices gates.
Thanks for dropping by for the makondo
~B
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I love mazondo, I rarely get to eat them. Thanks for sharing.
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Cook them!! lol
Thanks for dropping by have an awesome week
~B
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You waited a month? I would have been knocking on their door, telling them to get their stuff away from my property. Did you read my post about over $100,000 appearing in someone’s back account? No, finders aren’t always keepers. Unfortunately.
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Hahahaha I do not like confrontations, and much prefer not rocking the boat, so I patiently waited it out until such a time I could be like you should have come sooner…
We definitely kept that tree though hahaha
~B
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Did they get angry?
Well you avoided the confrontation THEN, but you had to face them NOW.
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Well I was prepared to be indignant and ask them where they have been or how come they never came to check if their tree had not caused any damage… but they were pretty amicable and actually apologized for the incident and in future would give us a heads up before conducting any tree felling that would affect us.
~B
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Loved this 🔥
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