If you were having coffee with me, I would be happy you paid me a visit, between waiting for the electricity to come back and the expensive internet data, not much is happening in these streets but on the upside though, even the trolls aren’t as visible as they normally are its quiet on these streets. Between you and me I would tell you____
You would have to excuse me, a phone call decided to intrude in our coffee chat. I would mute the phone call because it’s one of those calls I just cannot find the energy to deal with, but I don’t want the person on the other end to think I am purposely ignoring them, maybe we are busy dancing to the ringtone, that’s what happens when set your favourite song as a ringtone. Anyway I don’t want to decline the call or have them get a preset text message saying “sorry I am busy now will call again later”
Maybe I owe you money or a favour but I would rather let you think I am busy dying so I cant pick up the phone I mean what could be more important than dying, I know those are dark thoughts but sometimes when the phone starts ringing I do feel rather unsettled, wondering what they want from me, if I have anything worth saying to them, if my voice sounds ok, if you can see I am not Ok even though I said I am, what if it’s a psychopath with an unknown number trying to end my existence, there are weirdos out there….
If you were having coffee with me I would tell you that this past week was mental health week, mental health is one of those things we tend to sweep under the carpet, the elephant in the room.
Its something that other people should worry about you tell yourself. Its only recently I found out that having phone anxiety is actually a thing and there is also something called telephonophobia and it’s a really phobia; its not just simply adding the word phobia to telephone and calling it a phobia (technically that’s what they did though)
I don’t quite have telephonophobia in its depilating fullness but I do experience apprehension which I just quite explain every time my phone rings unless its someone I really like. I used to think that it was simply something about preferences that I preferred calling over texting, and I was simply one of those people who would call you, to tell you to text me…
If I end a phone call with “I will call you back shortly” best believe what I really mean is please do not hold your breathe I might probably never call you back again, have a nice life…
If you were having coffee with me, I would tell you that before you pick up the phone and call me, ask yourself, what you want to call me about, can it not be conveyed to me via a message and lets not even get started on a video call, you might have to write a 96 page document, in triplicate, on why you need to video call me, and how an email cannot suffice and I will only reply to said document during business hours Monday to Friday…..
So I guess I have a case of phone anxiety, there I have admitted it, they say admitting you have a problem is the first step towards finding a solution. There you have it, next time you try to call me and I am not picking up, that could be one of the reasons or maybe I owe you money and haven’t found it yet or that thing I promised to do I haven’t, but don’t want to lie to you, simple.
Calling me twenty times consecutively will not increase chances of me picking up (unless you are my mum in which case 20 missed calls means…. well it means I had better not be dead)
If you were having coffee with me I would ask how come when a phone call comes through on these smart phones it becomes the number one priority overruling everything and although you can mute the phone call you cant like just swipe away the call screen and go back to playing candy crush or reading a book or playing music or whatever else you doing on your phone when not making phone calls
Its mental health week, what’s going on with you, do phone calls make you feel some type of way?
PS If twelve years ago you tried to call me and left a voicemail message to say that you are standing outside my gate; then please note I only retrieved your voicemail today and if you still standing outside, well we moved, we don’t leave there anymore….
PPS if you going to call me with a landline number please let me know in advance its exhausting having to psyche up my professional phone answering persona thinking it’s a potential employer only to discover… its only you ^_^