Of Coffee With Phone Anxiety

If you were having coffee with me, I would be happy you paid me a visit, between waiting for the electricity to come back and the expensive internet data, not much is happening in these streets but on the upside though, even the trolls aren’t as visible as they normally are its quiet on these streets. Between you and me I would tell you____

You would have to excuse me, a phone call decided to intrude in our coffee chat. I would mute the phone call because it’s one of those calls I just cannot find the energy to deal with, but I don’t want the person on the other end to think I am purposely ignoring them, maybe we are busy dancing to the ringtone, that’s what happens when set your favourite song as a ringtone. Anyway I don’t want to decline the call or have them get a preset text message saying “sorry I am busy now will call again later

Maybe I owe you money or a favour but I would rather let you think I am busy dying so I cant pick up the phone I mean what could be more important than dying, I know those are dark thoughts but sometimes when the phone starts ringing I do feel rather unsettled, wondering what they want from me, if I have anything worth saying to them, if my voice sounds ok, if you can see I am not Ok even though I said I am, what if it’s a psychopath with an unknown number trying to end my existence, there are weirdos out there….

If you were having coffee with me I would tell you that this past week was mental health week, mental health is one of those things we tend to sweep under the carpet, the elephant in the room.

Its something that other people should worry about you tell yourself. Its only recently I found out that having phone anxiety is actually a thing  and there is also something called telephonophobia and it’s a really phobia; its not just simply adding the word phobia to telephone and calling it a phobia (technically that’s what they did though)

I don’t quite have telephonophobia in its depilating fullness but I do experience apprehension which I just quite explain every time my phone rings unless its someone I really like.  I used to think that it was simply something about preferences that I preferred calling over texting, and I was simply one of those people who would call you, to tell you to text me…  

If I end a phone call with “I will call you back shortly” best believe what I really mean is please do not hold your breathe I might probably never call you back again, have a nice life…

If you were having coffee with me, I would tell you that before you pick up the phone and call me, ask yourself, what you want to call me about, can it not be conveyed to me via a message and lets not even get started on a video call, you might have to write a 96 page document, in triplicate, on why you need to video call me, and how an email cannot suffice and I will only reply to said document during business hours Monday to Friday…..

So I guess I have a case of phone anxiety, there I have admitted it, they say admitting you have a problem is the first step towards finding a solution. There you have it, next time you try to call me and I am not picking up, that could be one of the reasons or maybe I owe you money and haven’t found it yet or that thing I promised to do I haven’t, but don’t want to lie to you, simple.

Calling me twenty times consecutively will not increase chances of me picking up (unless you are my mum in which case 20 missed calls means…. well it means I had better not be dead)

If you were having coffee with me I would ask how come when a phone call comes through on these smart phones it becomes the number one priority overruling everything and although you can mute the phone call you cant like just swipe away the call screen and go back to playing candy crush or reading a book or playing music or whatever else you doing on your phone when not making phone calls

Its mental health week, what’s going on with you, do phone calls make you feel some type of way?


PS If  twelve years ago you tried to call me and left a voicemail message to say that you are standing outside my gate; then please note I only retrieved your voicemail today and if you still standing outside, well we moved, we don’t leave there anymore….

PPS if you going to call me with a landline number please let me know in advance its exhausting having to psyche up my professional phone answering persona thinking it’s a potential employer only to discover… its only you ^_^



  1. I do get phone anxiety too and concur, calling me 20 times won’t make me pick the phone up, especially on those days when am paranoid about people I don’t want to call calling me. I have two questions;
    Did your phone anxiety ever cost you a relationship?
    Do you think you have caused anyone by calling them often?

    PS Your PS and PPS are hilarious

    Liked by 1 person

    1. In hindsight I think it contributed to the end of one, she thought I did not like talking to her, and of course throw in the distance we could only meet once in three months during the varsity breaks, well…

      I never call anyone often hahaha I might actually have caused anxiety by that though….


      PS hahahaha thanks

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I am beginning to realise a lot of people might be suffer from this but without ever quite knowing this is the problem, they go through life seeming like they are terrible communicators… I have friends whom everytime we met first thing they would do is tell me off for not picking up their calls… now I know better

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, my mom’s always having to explain to people how horrible I am at communicating. I hardly ever call, and my phone’s always in the silent mode, so I get a lot of missed calls I don’t return.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh man, I hate making phone calls unless it’s someone I really, really like! I’m a lot better now than I used to be, but for some reason the thought of making a phone call still makes me nervous. I’m okay once I’m actually talking to the person, it’s just getting the call started that bothers me.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. and then there’s those late night out of the blue calls that have you wondering if everything is Ok, usually good news does not come in a late night phone call…

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I have known for a long time that I have phone anxiety. (Also parking garage anxiety.) I don’t know why but I think a lot of people have it so they resort to texting. Email seems to be dying off and snail mail is long gone.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am realising from some of the feedback on this post that this anxiety is not uncommon maybe what changes is the severity ranging from mild apprehension and going.

      I miss snail mail, handwritten sentiments of the posted kind

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I just hate talking to people on the phone period unless we have good vibes, I hate awkward silence and then the pressure to fill that silence doesn’t help… it’s like you called me why am I under pressure here😑😑

    Liked by 1 person

    1. and suddenly its no longer a conversation its more of a question an answer session till you run out of things to say an end up saying random things like I love you, thats how a relationship of mine started hahahaha in my defence it was back in high school during the school vacation


  5. 😂😂 I love this post! I hate talking the phone! For me it’s so draining! After getting off the phone I often feel like I just ran marathon! I prefer texts over calls for sure!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Junk phone calls have all but ruined a perfectly useful technology.
    How sad is it to think of those who make their living from behind an auto dialer and success is measured in the number a heater vents you secured contracts for cleaning.
    And a person who has any amount of self-respect does not want “telemarketer” on their CV/resume because once they do that, no one will hire them except for other telemarketers – and thus they lose their soul to an industry hated by so many of us.

    My but that was dark and creepy. So, Beaton – we have this time to visit. What shall we laugh about today?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. we shall laugh about no matter how one might hate phone calls if a toddler hands you an imaginary phone and says its for you…. you answer it hahahahaha


  7. PS If twelve years ago you tried to call me and left a voicemail message to say that you are standing outside my gate; then please note I only retrieved your voicemail today and if you still standing outside, well we moved, we don’t leave there anymore….

    Did I laugh? Yes.

    I only get excited by calls from three people in my life. The rest, for real, I feel like they come with bad news only or after the conversation, I ask myself what that was really about.

    I prefer messaging though.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Telephonophobia…lol I think the main problem at the moment is people don’t want to face up to there fears, like a man or woman.

    They want a label to hide behind for the remainder of their lives.

    We all have two choices in life. To live a life of faith or live a life of fear.


  9. Let’s not get started on a video call i would help you write the 96paged document.
    Mine must be in extremes because during the pandemic it hit hard for those trying to reach me then I can’t explain it who explains phone anxiety, others were genuinely concerned,others wanted to just talk but I can afford a phonecall after mulling over it for weeks. Am those people that receive prepaid calls and they go unused I could save them the money. In my defense am always a text away I respond faster ask God😂
    This was timely thank you.
    I looked up phone anxiety during the pandemic because i realised there was a problem I had never seen as one.


  10. I should have met you ages ago just so I can prove to others am not crazy afterall.

    I relate so much in every way for a long time I didn’t think it was a big deal till it started affecting those around me especially in the famous rona year Yoh people got angry and frankly even those who shouldn’t🤦🤦

    Because am tired I don’t find the need to explain myself anymore unless just unless.

    Don’t get me started with the 20 calls 🤦🤦like after one phone call be sure I just didnt pick.

    This was worth the read all through thanks you.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I was legit laughing all through this read because what is it with people and calling like I’m the custodian of their destiny? 🤦🏿‍♀️

    I don’t have energy, I’ll simply turn off my phone, periodt!

    And those persons who video call you randomly!!! I’m sorry, who the heck do you think you are to do that? I can’t can, abeg.

    Thanks for making me laugh this early afternoon, The Uncle Blog Father 😁. Happy Sunday!


    1. I used to think it was just a me thing that I did like calls but from what I have seen seems like its a lot common why do people want to threaten people’s well being by jut randomly calling especially those who call and dont even have anything to say now you are forced to come up with content…
      And video calls… wooo shem



  12. When it comes to phonecalls, they get me over thinking what we are going to talk about and this stresses my mind

    So i am very selective with them, i only talk to close friends via voice calls(cause we always have endless topics to dissect) and potential employers and those who have no emails mostly

    I like to say, if it is urgent, send me a text. Otherwise, you might call and find me in my no phonecall zone…and get disappointed.

    Liked by 1 person

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