Of The Gender Equation

Confession I do not understand feminism.

Now that I have got that declaration out of the way, this me trying to make sense of it. If you are reading this and see where I get lost please feel free to jump in and explain.

I have read about it and let me say I have had it (feminism) explained to me a couple of times it makes sense at the time (sometimes) and then I see someone else who says they are no longer one (they used to be but not anymore) and explain their standing usually and that also makes sense and I have seen those who have never subscribed  to this and perfectly comfortable in their status quo roles, what they have to say also makes sense; Then you see someone whose hard line stance seems to imply all men must fall and everything you(as men) say will be used against you… so I listen and I don’t understand and I cant ask because I am a male our male privilege makes us the problem….. I stay silent, afraid to say the wrong thing.

I understand the need to address gender imbalance especially in the working world where women are less likely to gain positions of power not for lack of skill or knowledge but simply that they are women, whose place should be in kitchen. Traditionally we have had instances where a girl child was withdrawn from school so that her brother could get an education because why go school if she is just going to get married and have babies.

Our society has been largely patriarchal traditionally and culturally, there is always resistance to change especially to new ways of thinking but minds are slowly opening it’s a process that wont happen overnight, equal rights equal opportunities, empowerment…..

But fundamentally we are not the same male and female, we are different, our genetic makeup is different, the hormones that course through our endocrine system are different and so how we feel and even think is different …..

NoTe I am not saying one sex is superior to the other I am simply saying different, difference is not a bad thing. Can we accept our differences, correct what needs fixing  and still find ways to get along?

Who is a feminist?

I found to this flow chart By Rebecca Searles for The Huffington Post which simplifies it to this

are you a feminist
are you a feminist?

Maybe it oversimplifies the definition here is another by Emer O’Toole for The Guardian who has this flow chart

Are you a feminist

Can a guy be a feminist? The verdict is still out on that one, some say its possible, some vehemently say no, some say men can only be allies…..

And then there is another brand of feminists with rather radical views that you find them up in arms even with fellow feminists, words are redefined and meanings changed and definitions are lost and on the internet it just becomes a messy affair…..

This image is a crude representation of what everything devolves to



This is such an awkward post for me because to be honest I am a little afraid of the way the internet reacts to any perceived wrong not by correcting the fault but by bullying.

We need to be better human beings


ps waits  for the storm to start

day 27 blog everyday challenge



    1. I started and stopped many many times almost didnt click post if I had read again a second time I probably might not have posted it… The struggle is real


      1. Hi Beast. Despite of the fact that I regard myself as a feminist ( not in a bad way), I’ve decided to rather zip up( grinning).
        PS..Excellent . I salute you Brother!!!

        Liked by 2 people

  1. The problem with labels is always that there are different definitions. To me, feminism simply means equal opportunity. So if a woman wants to conform to the traditional roles, that’s ok as long as it’s her choice. The issue arises when women simply slide into ways of behaving and thinking through centuries of conditioning.

    This also applies to men as well. Each gender is influenced with social conditioning as well as hormones. My personal belief is that people are more alike than we think and the environment makes each gender behave differently, due to the social norms I mentioned previously.

    Can men be feminists? If your definition is equal opportunity, then yes, they can. If feminism is misandry, then not so much. It’s like saying what kind of music you like. The criteria keeps changing. I hate people asking what music i like.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. What music do you like? Sorry I just had to ask …. for research purposes if that makes it any easier ….

      also are you a guy? A. J. Sefton is so vague

      I appreciate you taking time to read and drop a comment

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Music: I like Rush, Chopin, The Beatles, Muse, Saint Saens, Green Day, Radiohead, Pink Floyd…they are my favourites.

        I also believe there are more differences between people than genders. I studied social class at university (or rather, class consciousness) during the World Wars, and the results were that similarities were found between social status rather than genders. So working class people (men and women) were more alike than women across the board.

        You asked if I am a guy? Why does that even matter?

        Liked by 2 people

      2. I love Green Day… matter of fact let me queue up the boulevard of broken, last heard that jam ages ago……

        Well they do say you become the people you hang out with, or is that aviatory species of identical plumage tend to perambulate in the same vicinity….

        I asked because curiosity…… I am a writer I am always curious, like where are you, how did you stumble by this blog post and doesnt really matter though it help me figure out which pronoun to use ha!

        Liked by 2 people

      3. I think I found you in one of the bloggers’ groups. Well, I’m only in two. Curiosity is wonderful, stereotypes not so much. I was from the north of England, now I’m not living there, educated to postgrad, former teacher. Love swords but not violent….that’s enough.

        Liked by 2 people

      4. I am in two of those as well ^_^ bloggers’ groups that is…..
        AH but curiosity has also gotten me into many an awkward situations….
        You remind me of an enigmatic character, who answers questions but never reveals anything… They will tell you everything and you will know nothing… mysterious like.
        pens are mightier than swords?
        PS Labels boxes and definitions are so limiting

        Liked by 2 people

  2. You are right on point on this one B. The point is we are different and it’s not a bad thing. But that doesn’t mean one is inferior and the other is superior. Intact we complement each other but not forgetting the fact that we are all human and all deserve the right to live to the fullest of what we can be without discrimination.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Well tackled B, courageous effort indeed… has the storm struck yet? Worry not, if you had added the other plottwist of race… well, that’s just a never ending shit storm of life as we know it right now… so, anyway keep writing 😉 👏

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you D…… The storm is surprisingly quite buoyant….
      The race card would really muddy up the waters …..
      I will write anyway


  4. Most of your points are right, and yes! You’re probably a feminist. 🙂 We are different and should be proud of our differences, but we are not inferior to our male counterparts!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Shirley♥♥
      Thanks for dropping by I appreciate the support.
      We are not the same ……. and our differences make us unique even compatible!!!!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Well addressed B. We are different but none is better than the other. No one’s place is in the kitchen or at the President’s office. We can all pursue those areas without any discrimination.

    Liked by 1 person

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