Of The Ways Of Old

Blogging in Africa

I am constantly awed by the duality and double standards that seem to be part of our culture.

We claim we are a modern progressive society and yet we seem to be going forwards backwards, constantly looking back and not looking at where we are going.

walking backwards

Atleast that’s what it looks like to me.

I am not saying we should not look back, we must always remember where we came from so we know how we got where we are and navigate to where we are going. It’s a lot like driving a car on the open highway,

there’s a reason why the windscreen is much larger than rear view mirror…

windscreen larger than the rear view

The first tradition we need to redefine is the way society wants neat little labels for everything and everyone, the stereotypes of masculinity and feminity. Traditionally we come from a long heritage of a patriarchal society where a man is the head and a woman’s place is beside him, each with expected roles.

The struggle for gender equality will be a protracted battle as long as we fail to define, redefine and undefine who we are. From the fragility of masculinity to the toxicity of feminism and the fluidity of gender; nothing is ever only one thing: a man, a woman, a husband, a wife, an uncle, an aunt, a grandparent all someone.

She is someone

The second tradition is also another label on defining success and the need for it. A host of the challenges we face are rooted in this constant need to succeed, to show you have arrived.


What is success? Marriage, a big wedding, a family, a beautiful spouse, a paying job, money, a fancy car, a big house, lots of likes, lots of followers on your blog, being first in class, report card full of A’s, being a best-seller

You are reading this thinking that the definition of success changes with everyone which is both correct and wrong, we are conditioned to certain things from watching the way the daughter who had her lobola paid for is treated versus the one with the child out of wedlock, the next door neighbour’s child who did well in school, got a great job and there’s you still figuring out this life thing, the A-listers whose lives are practically documentaries as we follow their social media to see their picture perfect lives one post at a time and there’s you again, cant hold a relationship, at least not with someone who can treat like those couples who go on baecations and have cute babies with perfect hair that never cry or break your laptop, phone and oh you need a new pair of earphones….

What I am saying is we need to stop focusing on being humans and start BEING


Day 19 #WinterABC Traditions and cultures that have no place in the modern world.



    1. …..is something important because everyone else says it is? I love to write stuff that challenges perception you dont even have to agree but just for a second go hmmm
      Thank you a span

      Liked by 1 person

    1. …(contd) I will call standards for purposes of making my point, give us something to aim at?

      Because if there’s no gold standard for say success or if there’s no label at all, do we still have anything to work for??

      The same way you can’t have criminals if there’s no law classifying them as such

      Liked by 1 person

      1. hahahahahahaha I see where you are leading at I think such line of thought would lead us to some form nihilistic conclusion…
        I did not mean the should be no standards or anything but rather as you point out about the criminals its all arbitrary and even in the cases of laws they have been known to be revised an action that was once criminalised legalised like weed aka marijuana ….
        anyhoo this post is meant to be disruptive and challenge thought thanks Pius

        Liked by 1 person

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