If you were having coffee with me ……….
If you were having coffee with me, we would be having coffee by candlelight. This is courtesy of the power utility company who just switch off the electricity for no reason. Ok it’s not really for no reason its something called load-shedding, when the electricity usage becomes too high they flip a switch and here we are sitting in the dark.
Fortunately I had candles. I always keep them handy even though we do not get as many power cuts as we used to, I hope it’s a good sign, there was a time when we had no more than a few hours of electricity per day. Electricity was like that errant spouse who left before you woke up, only to come back after you went to bed.
If you were having coffee with me I would tell you about this one time when I was having dinner by candlelight. The thing about candles, they are not very bright, they don’t talk and shed very little light, even if you move the candle as close to your plate as possible and lean so near into the light that you smell something burning as the ends of your hair start smoking and possibly burst into flames (hair is spectacularly inflammable especially if well oiled and moisturised) or you singe your eyebrows, you still won’t really see clearly the stuff in your plate. Imagine you throw the last piece from your plate in your mouth thinking it’s a cubed potato you were saving as a dessert, and turns out to be something else.
Anyway, so there I was eating my supper and there just had to be this big bone, and I was attacking it whole-heartedly, trying to suck out the bone marrow, that’s the best part, so it’s said. So there I am busy licking and sucking you know, really going at that bone at all angles, then suddenly the lights came on, because the power was back, and I had a close encounter with my dinner.
In my hands was the complete jawbone of a pig with teeth and all….. I inspected it in the light and to my horror I had been busy giving tongue action to the teeth of it… some of them were clearly cleaner, sparkling even, compared to the others which were covered in layers of plaque and lawd knows what else pigs eat… Anyway pigs ain’t the most dentally hygienic animals that’s all I will say…
How I did not squeal and throw up right then and there is a testament to the skills I once told you about (see here) but it was still quite shocking I even thought of following up on a pain and suffering lawsuit against the power utility company but heck they got enough problems of their own.
Now I am all for not eating the heads of animals especially pigs and fish but that’s for another reason, it’s hard to eat something clearly looking at you.
If you were having coffee with me I would tell you that what’s cooked in the dark should be eaten in the dark… And what goes on in the kitchen is a story for another.
Now hurry up and finish your coffee before the lights come on.
This Candlelit Affair turned out completely different from what I expected. I can’t stopping laughing… I just LOVE it! Great story, wonderful sense of humor, Beaton! 🙂
BTW, I’d suck out the bone marrow, too. 🙂
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hahahahaha glad you got a laugh out of this…..
thank you for stopping by ♥♥ appreciate the company
~B
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Gosh!!! Pig jaw??? Of all the damned things! Great story though. quite humorous.
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in my defense it was dark,…. hahahaha and I might have set up myself for it when I declared that there is practically nothing I dont eat …
thanks for dropping by
~B
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LOL. I now believe you.
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hahahahaha you didnt before? I never lie, I might make things up but I dont lie lol
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I never believed there was such a thing as “I can eat just about anything.” Now I do. En how’s making up things not lying? lol
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hahahaha did you read the post in the link where I was describing having a particular set of skills. If you didnt hahahaha do. Thats how I became one of those I eat about anything types ☺☺☺
there is a difference between lying and making things up, granted its a thin one though and once I figure out how to convincingly explain it I will tell you.
~B
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lol…I just read it. it is hilarious. Now it makes a lot of sense. its like you made a pact with chicken.
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hahahahaha careful I might peck your eyes out
~B
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lol. not a chance.
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I’m speechless, those candles have stolen my words away!!! Ha ha… this had me in awe…. ha ha. Keep the lights on Beaton or else your utility company will have to be sued!
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hahahaha thank you for the company
I really should invest in a lantern one of those solar rechargeable ones so that the lighting is always adequate in the event of a power cut unless of course I really want to have candlelit meal .
~B
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My tip: Stick to romantic candle lit dinners Beaton! ha ha !!
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excellent advice
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:)))
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I laughed and thought Awww. In Ghana tho coffee isn’t huge. So I replace the coffee with sobolo.
Well written.
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Thanks for joining ♥♥♥
no worries you can have any beverage of your choice….. and I Just googled sobolo for future reference now I know….. its very red though how does it taste?
Thanks again
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It’s peppery most of the time and heavily pineapple flavored. And welcome.
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what do you have it with, by itself or with snacks, bread?
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Lol at least yoiu did not encounter the pig’s nose when the power was restored.
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hahahaha yikes that would have been disturbing…..
~B
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Oh, mercy!!
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hahaha I know right ☺☺☺
Thanks for the visit
~B
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Then ask you gulp your last of the coffee you chew something
Best advice, just swallow. Never mind and never spit to find out what it is 🙈
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hahahhahahaha best advice ever!!!! works also if you having that Chibuku Scud too…
~B
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Literally laughing out loud with tears rolling down my cheeks
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True story!!!
~B
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I like it the dark… Candlelit it it
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🔥
~B
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