If you were having coffee……..
If you were having coffee with me, I hope you would call me, before you come, to ask me, if I am home, so that I have enough time to tidy up and pretend I woke up like this. Do not be fooled my locks might look care-free, but each strand is strategically positioned.
Do Not call me to say, you are on your way, when you haven’t left your house or even taken a bath yet.
Most importantly, Do Not call me when you are already at my gate, to ask me, if I am home, because you wanted to come over for coffee because it would be awkward if I do not want you coming over.
You: “Hi B“
Me: “Hi you“
You: “Are you home?“
Me: “Yes, why?”
You: “I am at your gate___“
Me:….. Constipated face emoji *awkward*
If you were having coffee with me, we would have coffee and chill and that is not code for anything, it would be just conversations over a cup of coffee or tea. I am all out of juice, so would have to run to the shops, to get you some, if that’s what you prefer. I would say it’s really no bother at all (but under my breath I would say but I thought this was a coffee date.)
If you are having coffee with me, I’d ask you, if there is standard acceptable Tea to Bread Ratio? You would look at me, like you are doing now, and I would explain; what I mean, is a ratio of let’s say 1 cup of tea to 4 slices of bread…. Is there such a ratio in proper tea drinking etiquette? It should be a fascinating research to do, yes?
You are feeling nice and welcome are you not, “Great” I would say.
If you were having coffee with me, I would ask you “How would you feel if a bunch of people, who said they were your friends, were to invite themselves into your house and proceed to just sit and look at you, never saying a word just sitting there and looking at you, then they leave, they don’t even say goodbye, they just get up and go, how would you feel?”
That would be really really creepy, would it not? Yes?
That is how it sorta how it feels like when you click on to my blog, read my posts and then you just leave….. its just …. Creepy. Do not get me wrong, I love the lil visits you pay me and I appreciate that you keep coming back. All I am saying is do not be a strange about it, if you drop by and love what you read, do leave me a message that you have been here and you loved the visit. I tend to check up more on blogs that interact with mine and respond when I comment on theirs, than those who don’t and if one day you wake and you wondering how come I don’t visit yours as much much as I used to……….
Yes, I blog for mainly selfish reasons but having an audience does give me, a nice warm fuzzy feeling, reading what you think about my posts, I get to know more about you, and more about me too, because there is a piece of yourself in every person you meet. Your muse might just be the next person to comment.
So if you having anything to say please feel free to holla, I don’t bite, unless you are a sandwich in my plate, then, oh yeah I will eat you up. Speaking of sandwiches, it is a good thing we no longer have to hunt for food because if we did, I would probably starve, I do not know where sandwiches graze. I try to keep my hunting skills honed by stabbing the frozen chicken in the fridge with a knife before sticking it into the microwave to bleeddefrost.
If you were having coffee with me I would tell you how, just the other day I ran into an old friend I haven’t seen in a while, told me they were a big fan of my blog and I was quite pleased but I low-key wanted to say how come I never see you commenting ok, how bout just clicking the like button, so I know you definitely been there.
If you having coffee with me, I would carelessly leave my diary on the table, open to a heart marked date.
Curiosity would have you asking me if anything special was going on, I would laugh and say “Oh, it’s nothing really, that’s just my birthday” as I scoop up my diary and put it away.
If you were having coffee with me I would thank you for coming and say please do drop by again, and don’t be a stranger and if you not being strange then don’t stop doing what you doing, I really do love your little visits, don’t be creepy now
Cheers and happy weekend.
~B
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