If you were having coffee……..
If you were having coffee with me, I hope you would call me, before you come, to ask me, if I am home, so that I have enough time to tidy up and pretend I woke up like this. Do not be fooled my locks might look care-free, but each strand is strategically positioned.
Do Not call me to say, you are on your way, when you haven’t left your house or even taken a bath yet.
Most importantly, Do Not call me when you are already at my gate, to ask me, if I am home, because you wanted to come over for coffee because it would be awkward if I do not want you coming over.
You: “Hi B“
Me: “Hi you“
You: “Are you home?“
Me: “Yes, why?”
You: “I am at your gate___“
Me:….. Constipated face emoji *awkward*
If you were having coffee with me, we would have coffee and chill and that is not code for anything, it would be just conversations over a cup of coffee or tea. I am all out of juice, so would have to run to the shops, to get you some, if that’s what you prefer. I would say it’s really no bother at all (but under my breath I would say but I thought this was a coffee date.)
If you are having coffee with me, I’d ask you, if there is standard acceptable Tea to Bread Ratio? You would look at me, like you are doing now, and I would explain; what I mean, is a ratio of let’s say 1 cup of tea to 4 slices of bread…. Is there such a ratio in proper tea drinking etiquette? It should be a fascinating research to do, yes?
You are feeling nice and welcome are you not, “Great” I would say.
If you were having coffee with me, I would ask you “How would you feel if a bunch of people, who said they were your friends, were to invite themselves into your house and proceed to just sit and look at you, never saying a word just sitting there and looking at you, then they leave, they don’t even say goodbye, they just get up and go, how would you feel?”
That would be really really creepy, would it not? Yes?
That is how it sorta how it feels like when you click on to my blog, read my posts and then you just leave….. its just …. Creepy. Do not get me wrong, I love the lil visits you pay me and I appreciate that you keep coming back. All I am saying is do not be a strange about it, if you drop by and love what you read, do leave me a message that you have been here and you loved the visit. I tend to check up more on blogs that interact with mine and respond when I comment on theirs, than those who don’t and if one day you wake and you wondering how come I don’t visit yours as much much as I used to……….
Yes, I blog for mainly selfish reasons but having an audience does give me, a nice warm fuzzy feeling, reading what you think about my posts, I get to know more about you, and more about me too, because there is a piece of yourself in every person you meet. Your muse might just be the next person to comment.
So if you having anything to say please feel free to holla, I don’t bite, unless you are a sandwich in my plate, then, oh yeah I will eat you up. Speaking of sandwiches, it is a good thing we no longer have to hunt for food because if we did, I would probably starve, I do not know where sandwiches graze. I try to keep my hunting skills honed by stabbing the frozen chicken in the fridge with a knife before sticking it into the microwave to bleeddefrost.
If you were having coffee with me I would tell you how, just the other day I ran into an old friend I haven’t seen in a while, told me they were a big fan of my blog and I was quite pleased but I low-key wanted to say how come I never see you commenting ok, how bout just clicking the like button, so I know you definitely been there.
If you having coffee with me, I would carelessly leave my diary on the table, open to a heart marked date. Curiosity would have you asking me if anything special was going on, I would laugh and say “Oh, it’s nothing really, that’s just my birthday” as I scoop up my diary and put it away.
If you were having coffee with me I would thank you for coming and say please do drop by again, and don’t be a stranger and if you not being strange then don’t stop doing what you doing, I really do love your little visits, don’t be creepy now
Cheers and happy weekend.
~B
I erring be creepy…
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Hi Simon 😉
I see you
~B
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My spell checker is awful with this phone
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I figured as much… To Err is machine?
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Yes, I think so lol
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☕☕☕☕☕
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♥♥♥♥♥♥
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I feel very coerced into commenting..
Call it undue influence if you will
But nothing that cup of coffee you owe me can’t fix..
By the way my cup is the one with the map of Africa,
Anyway dreadlocked guy who visits creepy caves and has conversations with coffee, this is good stuff
You must be awesome at writing fiction…
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hahahaha well, might be a lil guilty of coercion 🙂 but just a lil bit
you can hve the cup with map of Africa, because my favourite cup is the one with the coffee cup labelled orange…
I dont visit creepy caves everyday ha!
thanks a span
~B
P.S. I am awesome at storytelling hahaha now learning to stop telling stories and to start writing them 🙂
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Thanks for the coffee. I’m glad it was decaf. I’m happy to sign your guest book. You’re all write.
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You are welcome for the coffee.
Thanks for the visit
~B
P.S. You are all write too:)☻
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I had French Press coffee this morning. If it hadn’t been smooth, it would have been grounds for dismissal. Today is leap and launch day. The I’m Possible Journey: Learning to Live with Sugar Addiction went live this weekend! Best to you.
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Today is the first day of the month… all the best on the I’m possible Journey ☻
~B
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Bravo. I love coffee and dialogue.
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Whats coffee with friends but an excuse to have conversations and catch up
Thank you for visiting
~B
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I would never dare come over, uninvited and unannounced. Please give me another chance…all I can say in my defense is all these wonderful writers makes me so distracted. Though your dreads are indeed quite wonderful. 🙂
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Sometimes I am game for pleasant surprises, so yep you dont always have to announce yourself as long as you will be good sport and ignore the mess I wont have time to tidy up 🙂
Thank you:)
I grew it myself (the hair) hahahaha
~B
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Oh good, thanks for putting me in that category – I’ll be sure to help with the dishes! Either way, the hair is fabulous. 🙂
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a pleasure 🙂
and many hanks *smiling ear to ear*
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This was a very amusing read, and a clever way to guilt-trip people into making comments.
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hahahahaha I was really trying not lay the guilt on too thick,
am super glad you dropped by.
~B
So you are a Jaguar? Did not know they could use the internet lol
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I’m taking a break from writing and spending time visiting and reading blogs. I promise I will call first before stopping by in the future.
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Hi
Its weird the random things you will find in other people’s blogs, Oh and wow on the Book Series all the best have fun visiting blogs.
~B
Oh, sometimes I like surprises 🙂 ( So you dont always have to call first)
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Beaton, Good to know! Will visit again soon. This is just the first book in the series and it’s not edited yet, so writing the next book could take a while. Take care….Clare
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I’m also glad I don’t have to hunt. more of a gatherer . . .
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here’s to gathering…. l☺l
yey
~B
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I thought I was the only one who dislikes unannounced visitors.
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one of my pet peeves right next to people who squeeze the toothpaste tube in the middle and people who put back empty bottles (milk. water,Juice) in the fridge hahaha
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Bruuuuh tell me about it! Us Feb babies might just be perfectionists after all hahaha
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Creative artsy perfectionists thats us
Feb Babies are Fab
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Funny B. Hope you have a blessed birthday! Enjoy. 🙂
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Hi Mary 🙂
hahahaha thank you for the birthday wishes ☺☺☺☻♥
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I’m decidedly against visitors who haven’t cleared their presence well in advance of being at my house. And definitely against neglecting to speak to the host. 😉
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hahahaha NO to spontaneous guest who pop up like mushroom
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Agreed!
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This whole post had me laughing. Your beautiful hair… It doesn’t always look like that?! And, geez, people! Call! Don’t just show up! Beyond awkward.
Well… The comments. Thing is, some people are reading in between meetings or nap times or can’t comment on their phones or… I agree but, sometimes, it’s not possible. (For instance, I read this last night and am just commenting now. Good thing I remembered to come back when I had time to comment.) Just know, if I don’t comment, I still enjoyed your words. 💙 (No? Still creepy?)
P.S. I think it’s 2 slices for each cup of tea. ☕️
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See?! I said, “For instance…” and checked it and the computer deleted “for”! The plot thickens…
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hahaha I see nothing 🙂
The plot twist.
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hahaha I woke up like this; I have this special pillow you see……
Beyond awkward!!! Unless they are really really good company, then it’s a pleasant surprise (once you get over the shock of an unannounced visitor)
I know people can’t comment all the time, and between the stolen moments you check your blog, yeah LIFE happens…. but some consistently never comment, ever…. maybe they are shy or just voyeurs. ha!
Good thing you remembered to come back ha! But even if you hadn’t, you fix my lil typos in your comments so I know it’s real ♥♥♥ I would do the same for you 🙂
Not creepy ☻
~B
P.S. how many cups of tea do you drink, in one sitting? lol
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You fixed my typo! ❤️ *swoon*
And I don’t think I ever get over the shock of an unannounced visitor. Well…when they leave, I do. (Usually 2 cups. Is that weird? It’s herbal so I can really down those things!)
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you noticed lol 🙂
hahaha…. when they leave? (my clothes are dirty from rolling on the floor; laughing)
I love herbal tea too ( I watch my caffeine you see) but no good story ever started with the words if you having herbal tea with me……
*does quick math* so…thats 4 erm four slices of bread???
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Oh, is that right? I accept your challenge. Be right back… (Yes, 4 slices, please.)
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ooooh okay then
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If you having herbal tea with me, I would know you were the one who killed him.
It was chaos and then it wasn’t. That’s when I noticed the dirt wedged between the baseboard and the carpet. I collected some and took it to my grandfather’s lab where he scolded me, told me to let the police do the work, then gave me a vial of poison.
He took the baggie, smeared a bit of debris on a slide, then put it under the microscope. A long while passed before he looked up, not at me, and said, “It’s not dirt. It’s chamomile tea.”
After the sirens and lights were gone, after the screaming and sobbing were through, I swore I would find you. And here you are. Sitting in a coffee shop with me. Ordering a cup of chamomile tea—the only kind you drink.
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….. If I was having herbal tea with you that faint hint of almond flavour would have me pretty worried……
I frown as I struggle to recall something, I read in some Agatha Christie story:
A is for Arsenic
B is for Belladonna
C is for Cyanide
ElLEEMERNOHPEE
and the last coherent thought I have is I stand corrected…. A good story could start with a nice cup of herbal tea, and it could as easily end with one too; revenge is a dish best served hot, but sometimes it could be something as easy as a hot cup of chamomile herbal…………
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hahahaha that made me laugh several times and snort my proverbial coffee… very nice ;D
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hahaha please dont choke on proverbial coffee it would be such a cliche 😀
thanks for dropping by
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I was super tempted to be creepy but convinced myself to not totally scare my friend B. away! I’ll call next time, though! ❤ 🙂 You are a funny man.
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Hi Rachael☺
hahaha I dont scare easily but when I do scare everyone around me…..
You are totally welcome to drop by anytime you want (provided you send a written affidavit in triplicate before the fact)
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haha… liked the way you compared those guys visiting your blog and never commenting ~ alike the people who drop in your home, have coffee and leave without saying good bye…haha.. I really enjoyed it. And if i ever happen to come in for coffee, i would certainly consider all your terms… 😀
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R^_^ thank you for stopping by. hahaha I know right, I was just shaking the tree a lil and just putting it out there… ~B there are always exceptions to the terms 🙂
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hahaha.. thanks for your gracefulness… 😀
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😂😂👌🏾👌🏾👌🏾👌🏾👌🏾👌🏾👌🏾👌🏾
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Ta
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I’m always surpised by people who visit but don’t comment or like or expect you to visit them, but don’t return the favor (that goes for RTs, etc., on Twitter, too). We’re all in this together. Share!
Oh, hi! And by the way, I don’t know where the sandwiches graze either. They just magically appear and I’m never hungry. Maybe there’s a sandwich fairy? ~Tara
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Thanks B for this post.
It does speak to me.
If you were having coffee with me, I will explain how I see myself into you. How everything no matter how hard we try to deny, it revolves around fate and destiny.
❤❤❤
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its freaky right ^_^ I am glad you see something you relate to ♥♥♥
~B
Thanks for the coffee.
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Thanks for coffee.
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“Do Not call me to say, you are on your way, when you haven’t left your house or even taken a bath yet.” This is soooo annoying, why do people do it?
I like the analogy of people coming over, staring, not saying a word, and leaving without saying goodbye. If we like what we read, it’s nice to say so. Although sometimes we lack the words …
Good one 😉
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hmmmm if you lack words you could just nod and smile ….
Thanks for dropping by
~B
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*The kind of coffee that strips you of your defences and leaves you staring like a guilty cow on a ledge. Beaton, before midnight, i would say this coffee backmailed me but now that it is past midnight (in my country), i will say.. I would have pleasure having coffee with you– one that will hit my nostrils the very moment i creep up on you at your gate and yes, my comment in June states i have a tea to bread ratio..!!
Otherwise, Great read here.
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hahahahaha many Thanks for the visit ♥♥♥ tha sounds like a coffee I could do with, unforgettable coffee…
~B
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Hahaha. Here’s me not being creepy though I love to creep now and then!
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hahahaha Just reminded me of an oooooold TLC track Creep…. Just keep it on the downlow
~B
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I love your mind
I’ll post this or something similar
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Hey there B! Your opening line got me smiling. I love the post mainly because I can relate to it. Nothing as annoying as people who just stop by your house without prior arrangements. If I were to have coffee with you though, you would have to make sure you have roibos tea bags ready; because I love my tea black with two teaspoons of sugar. We would probably talk all morning because we would have so many blogging ideas to share!
When you’re on your coffee break you should take a minute to check this link out, it will put a smile on your face. https://makupsy.wordpress.com/2015/04/20/the-unexpected-visitor/
Have a lovely Wednesday!
MaKupsy | http://www.makupsy.wordpress.com
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hahaha thank you for dropping by… Well you can come by unannounced since you already know how it is, then you will know when you overstay your welcome and we wont have to have awkward moments me asking when you leave you saying after just one more episode and end up watching the whole season again
~B
Ps lemme check it out ^_^
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