If you were coffee with me, I would, as usual, invite you to my tangle of words… I would offer you cake if I had any, but I dont… what are birthdays but an excuse to have cake… Yes, it was my birthday incase you missed the memo.
Once again, I have grown a year older wiser and the white beard grows on me. I used to be quite self-conscious about my fifty strands of white but as I have grown wiser, within and without, I carry it in stride. Perhaps, it has helped, that over the years I have had people who have told me that I made this look cool and inspired them to embrace their silver threads like it is what it is this is what nature gave us.
A couple of months back, while chatting to my uncle, he mentioned how he had never thought he would be upstaged by a nephew who looked wiser than he, the adult. Man’s got jokes, I want to think he was joking because he also said he was considering getting locs, just like mine and getting a barber to trim and style his beard in exactly the same way I did mine. We laughed and laughed, and I really hope it just for laughs cause I wouldn’t want to be the one to explain to his wife… how one of the people who was strongly opposed to me getting dreadlocs wants to be a rasta too 👀
If you were having coffee with me I would say, yes, we are bringing suspenders back. These things are super comfy and I think they give you a certain… edge. I was walking in the street just a hop and skip away from breaking into a dance routine… Ladies who were corsets I get it now ha!
Why Lord Beaton you ask? First of all my name Beaton has origins from the Scottish Highlands meaning From The Warrior’s Estate and I have a novelty gift certificate which claims that I have access to a square foot of land in Scotland and by virtue of some obscure Scottish tradition where land owners are referred to as Lords. Bow peasants hahaha
The website for Established Titles does point out that its a fun novelty gift, meant for a good laugh and not to be taken too seriously while preserving Scottish Woodlands as alongside their partners they plant a tree with every order made. However, they have faced serious backlash for being a scam enterprise not unlike buying real estate on the moon or getting a star named after you… One doesnt become a real Lord, you definitely cant buy a title off the internet besides you don’t really own the souvenior plot, though they say you can visit it… What is a novelty gift anyway?
Youtubers have come under fire for being sponsored by firms that offer them lots of money to promote products and services that arent exactly on the up and up. So is this a scam? Well the company that does it say they are not (which is what any scammer would say) and have so far evaded any legal battles… In fact, I am high key inspired to start granting titles myself.
If you were having coffee with me I would tell you that unlike the kind of Lordship that is bought from the internet, I belong to a royal lineage. You could say I am an African Prince and I don’t mean the internet scam one hahaha I come from a family bestowed with a chieftainship. Some days I want to actively do things that reflect on my royal heritage and then other times it feels like that belongs to an era that is long past.
I kind of understand how my uncles have kept this under wraps when couped with the back stabbing and game of thrones level cunningness, stories of murder and witchcraft whispered in the dead of night meant as warning to those who would dare pursue the path to claiming titles and such. Maybe one day…. 👑
Do you know who is no longer experiencing a Lordship like privilege? Robert Tinotenda Mugabe son to the late former president of Zimbabwe. He was set to appear in court a day before his father’s birthday on what is now celebrated as Robert Mugabe National Youth Day or just National Youth Day in short. If I had been born a couple of hours earlier my birthday would have been on a presidential public holiday, how cool would that be?
Anyway Robert Tinotenda was arrested on allegations of malicious damage to property and word on the street is that he would have been untouchable had his father still been president or alive. Talk about a fall from Grace.
Of course seems like they do still hold some sway as the National Prosecuting Authority saved him from a court appearance, (he had state events to appear at after all) apparently the incident was not criminal and the parties could sort out the misunderstanding between themselves.
If you were having coffee with me I would tell you that we are bracing for Cyclone Freddy. This record breaking cyclone traversed the entire Indian Ocean and set to make landfall in Mozambique following a path that may additionally affect Zimbabwe, Zambia and South Africa.
Our Civic Protection Unit seems to react rather slowly infact they react instead of proactively going about their mandate to safeguard the public from natural disasters. The only alert message I have received so far was from my bank urging me to keep safe, but that’s likely because they don’t want to lose a potential customer than actually caring for my well-being ha!
Schools have been temporarily closed as we wait for the storm to pass. Love and light to those who affected by the cyclone.. Stay Safe out there.
Whats going on in your neck of the woods?
~B
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