If you were coffee with me, I would, as usual, invite you to my tangle of words… I would offer you cake if I had any, but I dont… what are birthdays but an excuse to have cake… Yes, it was my birthday incase you missed the memo.
Once again, I have grown a year older wiser and the white beard grows on me. I used to be quite self-conscious about my fifty strands of white but as I have grown wiser, within and without, I carry it in stride. Perhaps, it has helped, that over the years I have had people who have told me that I made this look cool and inspired them to embrace their silver threads like it is what it is this is what nature gave us.
A couple of months back, while chatting to my uncle, he mentioned how he had never thought he would be upstaged by a nephew who looked wiser than he, the adult. Man’s got jokes, I want to think he was joking because he also said he was considering getting locs, just like mine and getting a barber to trim and style his beard in exactly the same way I did mine. We laughed and laughed, and I really hope it just for laughs cause I wouldn’t want to be the one to explain to his wife… how one of the people who was strongly opposed to me getting dreadlocs wants to be a rasta too 👀
If you were having coffee with me I would say, yes, we are bringing suspenders back. These things are super comfy and I think they give you a certain… edge. I was walking in the street just a hop and skip away from breaking into a dance routine… Ladies who were corsets I get it now ha!
Why Lord Beaton you ask? First of all my name Beaton has origins from the Scottish Highlands meaning From The Warrior’s Estate and I have a novelty gift certificate which claims that I have access to a square foot of land in Scotland and by virtue of some obscure Scottish tradition where land owners are referred to as Lords. Bow peasants hahaha
The website for Established Titles does point out that its a fun novelty gift, meant for a good laugh and not to be taken too seriously while preserving Scottish Woodlands as alongside their partners they plant a tree with every order made. However, they have faced serious backlash for being a scam enterprise not unlike buying real estate on the moon or getting a star named after you… One doesnt become a real Lord, you definitely cant buy a title off the internet besides you don’t really own the souvenior plot, though they say you can visit it… What is a novelty gift anyway?
Youtubers have come under fire for being sponsored by firms that offer them lots of money to promote products and services that arent exactly on the up and up. So is this a scam? Well the company that does it say they are not (which is what any scammer would say) and have so far evaded any legal battles… In fact, I am high key inspired to start granting titles myself.
If you were having coffee with me I would tell you that unlike the kind of Lordship that is bought from the internet, I belong to a royal lineage. You could say I am an African Prince and I don’t mean the internet scam one hahaha I come from a family bestowed with a chieftainship. Some days I want to actively do things that reflect on my royal heritage and then other times it feels like that belongs to an era that is long past.
I kind of understand how my uncles have kept this under wraps when couped with the back stabbing and game of thrones level cunningness, stories of murder and witchcraft whispered in the dead of night meant as warning to those who would dare pursue the path to claiming titles and such. Maybe one day…. 👑
Do you know who is no longer experiencing a Lordship like privilege? Robert Tinotenda Mugabe son to the late former president of Zimbabwe. He was set to appear in court a day before his father’s birthday on what is now celebrated as Robert Mugabe National Youth Day or just National Youth Day in short. If I had been born a couple of hours earlier my birthday would have been on a presidential public holiday, how cool would that be?
Anyway Robert Tinotenda was arrested on allegations of malicious damage to property and word on the street is that he would have been untouchable had his father still been president or alive. Talk about a fall from Grace.
Of course seems like they do still hold some sway as the National Prosecuting Authority saved him from a court appearance, (he had state events to appear at after all) apparently the incident was not criminal and the parties could sort out the misunderstanding between themselves.
If you were having coffee with me I would tell you that we are bracing for Cyclone Freddy. This record breaking cyclone traversed the entire Indian Ocean and set to make landfall in Mozambique following a path that may additionally affect Zimbabwe, Zambia and South Africa.
Our Civic Protection Unit seems to react rather slowly infact they react instead of proactively going about their mandate to safeguard the public from natural disasters. The only alert message I have received so far was from my bank urging me to keep safe, but that’s likely because they don’t want to lose a potential customer than actually caring for my well-being ha!
Schools have been temporarily closed as we wait for the storm to pass. Love and light to those who affected by the cyclone.. Stay Safe out there.
Whats going on in your neck of the woods?
~B
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Becoming The Muse 
My only issue with suspenders is when you need to sit down for a session with the porcelain throne. It’s a real pain to deal with them. But my goodness, they make one look sharp, that’s for sure 😀
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hang on….. I find it easier to just push them off the shoulders then reholster them when donw with princely throne visit, versus having to unbuckle a belt 🤔
Sharpness still takes the cup!!!
Cheers 🍵
~B
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I had not even thought of that solution. See, this is why the internet is such a great place 😀
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Oh my, there’s a lot to respond to in this post!
First, how is causing $12,000 US worth of damage to someone else’s property not an actual crime? If someone caused that much damage to my property, we’d be having words…strong ones.
Second, if you come to the US we’ll have to tell all the ladies that you’re an African prince 🤣🤣 Trust me, they’ll love that! You can also dress real nice (suspenders included), walk upright and regally, and talk slowly, taking care to annunciate each word clearly in a deep voice. You know, like all of the princes in the cheesy movies 😂
Third, everyone needs a fun uncle that they can joke around with. At least I hope your uncle is joking, it’d be weird if he actually starts copying you…
Fourth, and finally, please try to stay safe in the cyclone! We give those things such whimsical names (e.g. Freddy), which doesn’t fit their character at all.
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Hahaha be that as it may, I suppose a former president’s child enjoys certain liberties… I might even go as far as to guess they actually let this “crime” go as far as it did before putting a stop to it to make a point that he no longer enjoys the diplomatic immunity of old and needs to dial it down or else…
I watched Coming To America more times than I can count…. and you know what I think I can pull of the African Prince vibe suspenders and all… watch out America!!!!
we turned out to be quite safe from Freddy… which sounds like the name of fun whimsical uncle, it would have been such a tragedy to be devastated by a cyclone so named….
Thanks for visiting
~B
PS of course got a new post on Freddy
https://becomingthemuse.net/2023/02/27/of-coffee-with-cyclone-freddy/
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Happy belated birthday!!
I like suspenders on a man, but only when they are well-dressed—they look dapper.
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Loving the title that comes with the land!
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Thank You
It is quite a fun gift… I am thinking of getting it framed!!!
~B
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Happy belated birthday, Beaton! Yes, I think suspenders dress up a look, and of they made you want to dance, wear them more! Now, I want to see is I can get some land and be titled a Lady! Fun post, Beaton! You are wearing the years well, and the wisdom too!
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Two of my nieces bought my parents a square foot from a different company, Highland Titles, which looks like the same type ofthing. Of course begin Laird and Lady McDonald of Glencoe (where the company is based) has a little historic meaning… We did visit the land last year, and they did point out the plot, so… Yes, it is a way to conserve land, but a fun way.
Happy birthday, Lord Beaton.
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Happy belated birthday, Beaton! I hope the cyclone passed without causing too much damage. Stay safe. Thank you for your weekend coffee share.
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It’s so cool that your uncle now sees beyond the dreads. Scottish? Pretty neat! I’d really like to go visit! Maybe even relax on your land. Have a virtual tea/coffee with you from there. Hope the storm passed and you’re all good.
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Hey Beaton.
Many years ago now, my wife received a letter from some lawyer in southern California. It seemed that she was the daughter of her moms’ great aunt or something similar and as such she was a partial heir to some land that this woman herself had inherited from her father. The lawyer represented some modern, still alive guy who wanted to buy it.
When I first read the letter, I thought this might be our ticket to an early retirement as in, could this be possible?
Well, the estate was setup in a way that made it impossible to sell or buy portions of the land. It had to all be sold as a package deal or not at all.
This meant the poor buyer had to contact and pitch his offer to lots of daughters and sons of lots of daughters and sons and all the various offspring. It also meant that we all had to agree to one price and few of them even knew each other – which I thought was a tad odd & sad.
Anyway, it was a chunk of southern California desert far from the Los Angeles basin where the serious land values exist. When the desert dust settled finally, my wife got a check for something like 1/85th of the overall value and instead of retiring – we made a couple of mortgage payments on our home and called it a day.
Thus was our short adventure of being an owner of this “great land”. We never made it to the status of “Lord”. Although I think we may have had enough left over for most of a pizza.
Oh well. Life went on.
I hope this finds you well and only slowly aging . . .
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