Of Coffee With The Untimely Visitor

If you were having coffee with me, would be glad for the company its started to rain and the gloom kinda matches the mood.

My young brother passed away a couple of days ago. For clarity we are not siblings, he was my uncle’s child but in our culture, my father’s brother is also my father and his children are my siblings.

If you were having coffee with me, I would talk about how the late queen had burial plans put in place over 60 years before, but for us regular folk we wake up to phone calls in the middle of the night and the people start making figuring out what the plan is “saka hurongwa hwakamira sei?

Most people never make an exact final plan, people just start congregating and figuring out what needs to be done and how best to go about it. Death has this ability to suddenly make us adult in ways unimaginable, one suddenly has to help a loved one decide on a burial place, pick a casket and burial outfit. I did not know that culturally, the dead do not wear shoes, only socks, because they aren’t going anywhere, except to rest eternally. That’s what the mortician said.

I had the honor of riding shotgun in the hearse as we travelled to our ancestral burial place and the undertaker/driver made for quite the interesting travelling companion, full of gallows humour, which is understandable given their line of work.  The tears in my eyes were a mixture of grief and barely concealed mirth as they regaled me with some of their adventures “in the business”. Maybe that’s also a part of their job to offer a sense of kinship and comfort during a difficult time.

If you were having coffee with me, I would tell you that Funeral Services Providers have been under fire for the past week when a calculation that exposed the rip off that is some some funeral policies went viral.

1/2 Nyaradzo Funeral cover monthly premium is ZWL$12 771,15 =US$20.57

*Per year: US20.57 ×12 =US$246.84

*Per 30years: US$246.84 ×30= US$7405.20

If u died: coffin US$300, fuel US$500

Nyaradzo will use US$800 to bury u but iwe wakavapa US$7400 zvoreva kuti wabirwa US$6600 cash!

The CEO of Nyaradzo took to social media to try and put out the fire but that became a PR Nightmare which should be used as teachable moment for people in marketing and PR to have Crisis Management Protocol and clear lines of communication on issuing out information to the public with regards to policy and terms of service.

Hello Sahwira

On the whole I have to agree that funeral services providers have been taking us on a bit of a ride, sure one can say there’s fine print that explains the difference between an assurance and an insurance type of policy but hiding behind factual technicalities wont change that like any gamble, the house always wins.

the house always wins clipart

If you were having coffee with me, I would say having recently been at a funeral, I would see the need for having policies and such to ensure a dignified send off additionally we need to demystify the untimely visitor. People will pull out all the stops to make a funeral run smoothly but may not make as much effort in improving or maintaining quality of life. Someone pointed something interesting about how we cant build generational wealth if our plans simply end at planning for a funeral and not what happens after.🤔

So, Liz resigned *sips coffee* I wish our leaders could be half as bold and just say OK you know what I am failing at ABC I hereby resign…. One can wish.

Whats been going on in your neck of the woods.

~B

coffee-with-uncle-b

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21 Comments

  1. Good stuff. You’re good. I could feel as though I’m actually with you right there.

    What a week we had heh?

    Condolences about your cousin. May he rest in eternal peace.
    It’s something how we have so much to learn in our lowest times, isn’t it?

    About Nyaradzo…this is the first I’m actually getting context. Today, because the media is no longer monopolised, the corporate guys are forced to really have integrity not to decorate their company profiles and X-banners with it. It’s so satisfying to watch. 💪

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Marshall.
      It was quite an intense week, I hope this one brings some good breaks and the rains herald some change for the better 🕯

      Life is full of learning moments even in unexpected situations.

      Social media is the new wild west, a digital frontier with rules that aren’t taught in University as yet 💻 Corporate guys used to wield an untouchable sense of authority and simply respond to something as it’s a business decision and get away with it, now but not anymore people will step up and demand accountability (No Wonder governments even take to switching off the internet from time time 🤣 but the ungovernability of the internet is a story for another day)

      ~B

      Like

    1. So sorry for your loss. Sincere condolences to you and your family. Mwari vakunyaradzei
      This Nyaradzo debacle makes me worry about my funeral policy. Do I cancel it and just keep my money under the mattress? I really don’t know but I guess my kids and relatives will figure it out. I will be dead right?

      Like

  2. B,

    I’m sorry and my condolences for your cousin’s death and for the insanity of the funeral industry! That’s crazy! It almost makes me wish for immortality for all, but alas, that is not to be.

    My heart is with you. Selah.

    Like

  3. Condolences for the loss of your family member
    And I enjoyed the way you wrote about the way
    “Death has this ability to suddenly make us adult in ways unimaginable”
    So true
    And the funeral business is horrible at the way they up charge 💰
    Sigh

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you and appreciate.

      Yes, the funeral business right up there next to other insurance type businesses tend to have a seem like they are giving you peace of mind as they laugh all the way to the bank 🏦
      But that’s business that’s actually what the CEO of the funeral business in current spotlight said responding to someone asking why they cut off people for defaulting on payments by just a month yet will rush to bury celebrities for free. Of course people were non too pleased about that.

      ~B

      Liked by 1 person

      1. so interesting about burying celebs for free

        and we recently had a relative that chose cremation – and they still manages to over charge us and it was only later we saw how they ripped us off – after everything was signed too —
        but it worked out okay and I realized that they know people are “in a bad place” (well many are) and so that factors in to making choices.
        but now we know and we learned lessons –

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I suppose burying celebrities to them falls under marketing and Public Relations, so can creatively justify that as being “free publicity”
        People are generally intrigued by celebrities both their lives and death.

        As you point out they do take advantage that during such a time people will be focussed on just making sure everything goes ahead than going through the fine print.

        ~B

        Liked by 1 person

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