• I don’t like to read.
Oh really now… well, you have come to a right place, I happen to write you can learn to love to read by starting with this here article.
•Are you still doing that writing thing?
Thing? Really now?… If you cared, you could just click on the link and see for yourself.
• I noticed you haven’t written anything in a while
You are very observant, I hadn’t noticed that between being haunted by a blank page and blinking cursor and needing more than 24hours a day and endless amounts of coffee I had not been writing. Thank you very much.
•Do you have a real job?
•Dont you want to be a real writer?
As opposed to what… being an imaginary and totally made-up one?
•What do you do all day?
What do bloggers do all day? Fussing over sentences; trying to befriend words and fall in love with phrases. And when that fail, which happens often, we stare at the blinking cursor, questioning every decision that led us to this moment.
And all that is before you have to edit, proofread, create graphics, optimize for search engine, publish, promote on social media, then wait… That is what we do all day.
Its like being the writer, director and producer of your own one man play.
•Ha.. that would make a great article you should write it.
I’ll think about it.
•You should write a book.
•How goes writing the book?
Its going great thank you for asking, I have finished numbering all the pages… Also I think you should rephrase to: How goes your slow yet steady descent into artistic chaos.
•I have an idea on what you should write about..
I have idea too… how about you write about that, put that ink in your pen and smoke it.
•I mean totally do it if you write the book I will even help you market it and we can split 50%
How about I do it myself and get 100%
•Write something about me
So, you feel you have lived a life not only worth living, but worth everybody else reading about. Well, for me to immortalise you, I am afraid I would have to kill you first, one’s words are worth more when they are a goner.. I don’t make the rules: For your story to live, you must die.
•I want to write
Then do what I do, grab a pen and paper or a laptop and write, don’t wait till someday, start, today.
•I wish I had the time to do what you do
Oh, excuse me, you have more important things to do.. Writing isn’t important enough for you to give it time. But it is to me. I chisel away little bits of meat and skin off the day’s bones and chip away moments to squeeze in my writing.
Hundreds. I have thousands of words in me. I contain multitudes.
•Where do you get your ideas?
How do you breathe? Where do dreams come from, the reason why the sky is blue… is an orange called an orange because its orange or is orange called orange because an orange is orange… so should a banana be called yellow or yellow a banana… why are you laughing?
You have read what I wrote and then you say nothing… Did you like it? Oh no! You don’t like it, isn’t it. You think I should apologise to all the sand that got liquidated to create the silicon chips that power the servers of the internet, I should apologise to all the trees that had to die so I could disrespect their memory with my sorry excuse of desecration that I call writing…
Maybe you were dazzled by all my brilliance and you fainted?
Say something I am giving up on you…
PS Add any more I might I have missed in the comments. If you are now wondering how you can show a blogger love check out A Blogger’s Love Language