Connecting In A Time Of Algorithms
My grandmother must have had magic… how else would you explain how she seemingly knew the things she did? She showed up when she was needed the most. She could just tell as soon as you walked through door, whether you needed to talk, food or simply someone in your corner and who was going to have a baby in 9 months, long before pregnancy kits were a thing….
Now we have The Algorithim, which thinks its some sort of mind reading grand wizard because it can tell that you paused for 5.65 seconds on a video teaser of The Polygamist and decided what you want is to watch next is content from people reacting to the toxicity of Jonasi Gomora.
The algorithm is that relative at the family gathering, who keeps bringing up the most controversial things that everyone had let slide, just to watch people argue, because the chaos makes them feel important and stops people from enquiring too much into their affairs because they are busy putting out fires in their homes… “Attack is the best defense” they will think to themselves as they pretend to be the level-headed elder who calms the situation down.
The only difference is that it has been trained on all the available psychology data, has access to your digital footprints, and can make educated deductions about your fears, insecurities, and triggers.
I have been on the internet long enough to remember when getting a comment on your blog felt like someone knocking on your actual door. You’d open it, genuinely surprised, that someone thought to stop by to say they found your post relateable or inspiring or maybe that they disagreed with your point of view.
Once upon a time, I argued that A Website Is A Conversation… But somewhere between then and the present chaos, the algorithm decided a conversation was too quiet, too civilised and what they wanted was “engagement”. And engagement, it turns out, did not mean nodding thoughtfully at someone’s considered opinion. It meant grabbing them by the collar of their feelings and shaking them.
Outrage, clicks better than kindness.
Anger shares faster than logic
A dizzy take travels at full click speed.
Human connection is not dead. It is just competing, very unfairly, I might I add, with a machine that has unlimited resources, unfathomable processing speed, no conscience, and really really good at knowing what buttons we like to push.
Its easy to think the solution is to simply disconnect, unplug and run away from the internet, social media, and the gadgets that are tethering us… while that helps and is recommended from time to time to schedule time to take the road less travelled, which has no wifi and touch grasss…
The solution is to use it differently. To remember that behind the screen is another person, and every click is a choice about what kind of community you want to build.
I have made real friends through blogging. Friends who remember things I wrote years ago and can quote them back to me at the right moment. Friends whose minds are “interestingly weird” enough that every thought they put into writing sends you on a thinking trip.
We became friends not because of algorithmic interference but because we showed up, consistently, honestly made ourselves vulnerable… When you think about it, its an act of profound trust.
I am not going, I have tales yet to be told…
Take that algorithm!
WinterABC Relationships in the noise
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