Becoming The Muse

Feminism The F-word

“……Silence was taught to our mothers.
We rejected it at birth”

–excerpt from Daughters of Fire.

This thought provoking line from Daughters of Fire a poem by Batsirai Chigama from Gather The Children, has stayed with me from the moment I first heard it… it embodies the movement and evolution of feminism.

I titled this the F-word as a nod to how some view it as a provocative and controversial expletive which goes against African Values, Religion, Marriage and Society or rather Patriarchy to be exact.

History and tradition have not been kind to women, who were to taught to be silent, demure, mindful resilient and submissive, seen and not heard and all the characteristics of marriage material, for isn’t a woman possessing all these attributes in need of a husband to give her kids and respectability?

Society (read that as patriarchy) conditions women to believe that marriage is the pinnacle of achievement. From a young age, they’re told to prepare for a husband; to be the perfect wife, the perfect mother, the perfect caretaker. The price? Often, their independence, their happiness, and even their lives. While marriage shouldn’t be a prison, and love shouldn’t come with chains, ever wondered why more women tend to not remarry after divorce or bereavement?

Feminism is sometimes regarded as a Western import, an un-African disruption of culture. But looking back at our history, breaking the shackles of colonialism, can one really say that its un-African to demand justice, to want equality, better options and freedom to simply be? History erased herstory and left it as a footnote.

If one were to peek into families, you will find stories of grandmothers who offered contraceptives, handled births and abortions discretely, aunties who would made a stand so that girls got an equal chance to go to school, mothers who encouraged their daughters to pursue their dreams or not to repeat the cycle they have been trapped in…

These women, our mothers, aunties, grandmothers, whose silence was taken as consent to be heaped with indignities and lavished with praises for their resilience, secretly fanned the flames of defiance, into a sisterhood that challenges the status quo and its toxicity.

Sometimes to be heard, you need to speak loudly and carry a large stick, and while it ruffles feathers and shakes table; when you voice has been silenced and you finally find it, no one can tell you how to use it, especially not by someone who has been telling you that your place is to be seen and not heard.

At its core feminism isn’t just about equality on the basis of sexes but identity being one’s own person, without being defined by societal expectations; appearance, gender roles, titles, marital status, children, or lack thereof…

What do you think about feminism?

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