Uncle B’s Guide To Deciphering Book Descriptions and Blurbs
They tell you that you must never judge a book by its cover, but people are such visual creatures, that cover will call out to you… I am a huge fan of the Blind Date With A Book idea, imagine books just wrapped up in a brown paper package tied up with string; these are a few of my favourite things…

I thought this idea was neat you just pick a book based on its description.
Now the thing about a book’s description (trust me on this and you can ask any author you want, writing that tiny book description is so much harder than writing the actual book) it has a secret language similar to how realtors and estate agents will describe a house for sale as cozy instead of cramped or charming instead of derelict and when they say unique they mean no one else wants it…

From personal observation these are some terms I have come to understand and expect:
•Fantasy – set in a surreal world
•Epic Fantasy – Magic and possibly dragons
•Sci-fi – magic but steeped in scientific terms
•Magical Tale – There is no magic magic in that one its probably a tear jerker.
•Moving – similar to magical
•Enchanting – there could be fairies but most likely a human interest story
•Romantic – break up and makeup and break up some more
•Fascinating – its like watching paint drip, something to pass time
•Thriller – someone about to die and time running out
•Suspense – no idea what will happen next, turn to next page
•Mystery – Somebody died now find out who and why
•Fast Paced – reads like a long blog post
•Gripping – cant believe somebody actually wrote a book about this, usually relating to a thriller
•Riveting – cant believe somebody actually wrote a book about this, usually relating to a mystery
•Chilling – cant believe somebody actualy wrote a book about this, usualy relating to horror or crime
•Spine Chilling – see chilling
•Crime Fiction – Elementary my dear Watson
•True Crime – Elementary my dear Watson, this really happened
•Horror – now you cant sleep cause the thing from the book will come from you
•Historical Fiction– There is somebody called Thomas in it
•Classic – authors died a decades ago and everyone read it or pretends to have
•Debut – Incase they make it to best seller this is where it started
•Adventure – its probaby for the young and young at heart
•Apocalyptic – World ends or almost ended
•Post-Apocalyptic – after the world ended
• Non-Fiction – It really happened to me
•Powerful – cant believe this is not fiction usually in relation to Non-fiction
•Inspiring – probably Non-Fiction
I am curious if you drawn any such observations… add more if you have them
~B
This is super awesome I could easily read relatable books I have read described as such 👌👌
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🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Haha there’s some funny truth to this am happy not the only who sees it
~B
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Historical fiction had me cracking😂
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Thomas is such a historicalc name🤣🤣🤣
~B
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I wonder what all the Thomas’s out there will have to say about this
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They will probably doubt it even🤣🤣🤣
~B
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I really related to a lot of these
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🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Glad I am not the only one
~B
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ya forgot erotica 😉
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😂😂 this was so funny to me, I have no idea why.
And yes, there is always a Thomas!
“Break up and makeup and break up some more” please 😂😂
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I came back to say, Henry is fairly popular too but Thomas definitely gets the cake 😂
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Oh yes Henry, definitely a Henry 🤣🤣
~B
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Because there’s a funny truth to it… 🤣🤣🤣
~B
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Slice-of-Life: a single scene from a possible longer story I do not care to write.
Expose: the real truth about something you thought you already knew.
Meme: someone’s hopeful 15 minutes of viral fame in 25 words or less.
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Meme had me snorting my coffee 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Spot on on the Expose
~B
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Making you snort your coffee makes my day👏👊
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Funny how I related to each description to a book I’ve read. Enjoyed the post. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
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Haha glad to create something relateable and enjoyable
~B
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I love the “classic description” 😂😂 authors died decades ago and everyone read it or pretends to have 😂 the accuracy 🙌 great piece
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hahaha the accuracy right!!!!
glad you had a laugh with this
~B
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This post gave me a good laugh. Being visually impaired, I download most of the books I read in audio formats from various sources. I often don’t see the covers. So, I go by the descriptions. I no longer enjoy reading certain genres. Thank you for sharing.
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Glad you got a good laugh from the post and I had a lot of fun writing it playing around with the stereotypes in book descriptions.
Which kind of genres do you enjoy, I particularly love epic high fantasy for its ability to transport one to a world that is vastly different from ours and yet still manage to tackle the same things we deal with ordinarily if we look beyond the creative world building.
~B
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I enjoy humor, historical fiction, memoir, and some romance. I don’t particularly care for a lot of sex, strong language, or violence. I wasn’t always this picky, but my tastes have changed over the years.
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omigoodness, this is so good, B. Love it. I may need to share this with my bookloving friends!
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I am not even sure what inspired me to come up with this it just happened and thank you I see some of your book loving friends stopping by too
Cheers
~B
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I;’m one of the “bookloving friends” who “boromax” sent your hilarious screed to. I definitely intend to provide a link to it very soon at one of my blogs, the Atlanta Booklover’s Blog. And I have added your site to the blog’s blogroll so I can remember to check out other your other musings from time to time!
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Thank you Cal
Glad you had a laugh and cheers to Boromax for connecting
And many thanks for the share
~B
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Your descriptions are spot on.
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Thank you
~B
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I have to admit that as an adult, I long for a good adventure book. But you are right – it’s hard to find one that’s not for the younger population.
A blind date with a book sounds awesome! Hmmmm…. now I have an idea. Go to the bookstore with someone and pick 3-5 books for the other person and then have them choose based on the blurb instead of the cover. Hmmmm….
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Yep it’s hard to find a good adventure story. But then even those that aren’t for the younger population end up being on the same shelves or recommendarion lists and by virtue of a book having young characters it’s classified as YA, I saw an author rant about how her book was not a children’s book as parents kept narrating her with how come the book is so dark for a YA… And she was explaining you see a book called Who Fears Death why would you think it would be for kids 🤣
Moving on…. Yep that sounds like a good plan.
~B
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LOL quite a funny title. These days parents seem to talk to their young kids about the weirdest things, so why not death, I guess. LOL
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🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Parents of today are weird…
(oh no as I realise I will be a parent of today😲)
~B
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Congratulations?
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Oh no 🤣 no congratulations in order.. It was just a speculative thought
~B
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