Of Heart, Mind And Soul

I think a lot… its probably why I write, I found a home for some of the things on my mind that never make it to my lips. Naturally I also have endless questions, some which I cant even find the words for…

I am curious about life; the body, mind and soul; one is the machine, the other the cogs that run it and last the ghost within it.

Brain anatomy

Left hemisphere, right hemisphere, frontal cortex, pre-fontal cortex

After a particularly gruelling set of exams, I was walking in the city with a couple of friends when we saw a building with a sign advertising Free Stress Testing

Free stress test

Hey lets go get tested for stress, someone suggested on a whim… 

Why not?

So, we went into the building, up the stairs and enquired at the reception area, where we were signed in for the tests. I had expected the stress test to be more like a medical examination, stethoscopes and blood pressure checks maybe even some sort of cat scan, NMR, EEG, ECG, QRS and other letters of the alphabet… it wasn’t.

Instead, the test was more like those invasive personality quizzes you read in magazines or see online; which celebrity are you most alike with, find your power animal, what profession are you most suited for…

There would be a set of scenarios and a scale of responses with how you would react or feel given each situation. The last section of the test was more like a general knowledge multiple choice quiz, with a mixed bag of questions that included a couple of math problems, word problems, word definitions, geography, even some riddle-like questions.

Oh, we had apparently also signed up for an IQ test too, it was a clause somewhere in the test release form and that the results would not be disclosed unless otherwise indicated. Sneaky bastards, but I had agreed to this.

The entire test was maybe half an hour-long tops and afterwards, we were asked to wait in the reception area for our results. We were informed we would be called in one by one for brief counselling with the results. One after the other, my friends were called; the process didn’t seem to take more than a couple of minutes.

I was called last.

I went and knocked at the door indicated and got in; was asked to take a seat, I sat. The man in the office told me how my results indicated stress but nothing alarming however he had called up his senior because there had been something interesting about them…

What do you mean interesting?

Before he could answer the question the senior had entered. I had been instantly aware of her the moment she walked into the room, she had the kind of signature scent that made a statement without saying a word, and she cut quite the imposing figure in her two-tone maxi dress… I promise I wasn’t staring or at least I tried not to.

She had shaken my hand; her grip, firm, her hand, smooth and said it was an honour to meet me… Her scent lingered on my palm, I smelt it as a brushed away beads of perspiration building on my forehead. I could feel the warmth of where her skin had touched mine.

Every time she said my name, my heart skipped a beat; maybe it’s the way she said it, and she said it like a lot; punctuating every sentence with my name. She introduced herself as the Team Leader of the Zimbabwe division of their organisation, and they happened to be hiring.

My test results had been surprisingly high, second only to hers, out of all the people who had been tested thus far. This meant I had potential to be second in command or even Team Leader as she would soon have to eventually have to leave the country to go and set up another such center in another country.

Wait, what? I needed time to process, I needed to breath, had I been holding my breath? I wanted to check up with my friends, if they had also been offered such chances..

“No they haven’t and I informed them not to wait for you as you might be here for a while” She had volunteered; well, that was thoughtful of her.

She had explained how her organisation was part of global movement vested in the business of knowing about knowing or the science of knowledge. The human mind was a phenomenal organ capable of limitless potential and they offered various courses, texts and therapy which would help one unlock their greater potential. If I took a couple of the basic short-courses I would be interned to run the executive arm of their communication branch, apparently, my evaluation scores showed that’s the hat I was suited to wear.

Of course I had to sign some confidentiality form including how the fees for the courses would be waivered on account of being staff-in-training.

What was I thinking? I wasn’t thinking really I mostly just wanted to see her again.

For the week that I took the short courses, I hardly saw her though. She was a busy woman but always stopped by for a quick chat to check how I was getting along, my thoughts about their organisation and if it all made sense. Scarily, it all made perfect sense, if you have read psychology texts you could pick up some of the psychological rhetoric like how past trauma can manifest in present and future like PTSD or even illness.

After the crash-course induction week, I had been summoned to her office for a debrief. She had told me how she had been pleased with the progress I had been making and starting the following week I would head the new crop of volunteers…


“You doubt your leadership capabilities?” she asked. She had stood up from behind her desk and come round to the front beside me, then sat on the desk facing me.

office affair

“Beaton” she said my name in that way that made me hear a thousand marching voices chanting.

“Have you ever dated someone who is difficult to reach through to but you know that once they let you past their defences they are for keeps, that’s the vibe I am picking up from you.” She had leaned in to lightly tap my shoulder for emphasis.

She was dressed impeccably as always, a veneer of barely concealed sensuality, her eyes, like twin pools that one could drown in if one stopped fighting it, and of course her signature scent, its been years but I remember it. Its true what they say, if a moment engages all your senses; sight, sound, taste and touch; it stays etched in your brain… and I think she was trying to invade mine, willing me to stop resisting.

“I need commitment from you” she pushed. I couldn’t separate if she meant professionally or otherwise or both.

Before I knew I had a pen in hand and was looking at a billion year contract to join what she had termed the most elite ranks of their organisation.

“Don’t worry the billion years is more of a symbolic pledge” she had explained from behind me where she now stood close, much too close as she read the contract from over my shoulder. As if she could read my mind she was giving a running commentary on aspects of the clauses, “Oh, that simply means etcetera…

__Dress Code__

“..about that, there is a strict dress code policy, men are required to have short crew cut hair… this will have to go..” she said wistfully running her fingers through my hair.

All along I had been free falling but suddenly I found my anchor and deal breaker…

Let me think about this” I said handing back her pen. I excused myself and left office, then the building and never returned.

A few months later I received a letter threatening me with legal action if I did not pay up for the week of courses I had taken with them… unless I was willing to reconsider and resume my responsibilities.

I sent them their payment.




  1. Got a male friend of mine, he was due for work related learning, he got a place at the Ministry of xxxxxxxx, but was asked to cut his locks. He did because he desparately needed the attachment

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Ouch. Whats in a hairstyle anyway ?? Its more like discriminating, the same way we are allowed to put on wigs , Gents should keep their locks as long they are clean and neat

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Wait ! Was this place legit? This woman must have been a real bomb to keep you tagging that long.
    Did you believe in the lessons!

    It sounds intriguing, was it a scam in anyway😁

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh she was like Delilah that woman!!

      To be honest if not for the hair thing I really might have signed up, I was being offered a role at the top of the pyramid…

      There’s always a catch…

      They have really interesting theories and were they applied for the greater good I think it would truly benefit mankind but conversely in the hands of manipulative person it becomes very close to brainwashing and not surprised that the organisation has been described as a cult.



  3. The hair question, i think only another hair person can relate. Something happened during the weekend and I had to cut my daughter’s hair ( i’m still not over it) and my mum was like keep it short and I was like for how long (coz i been waiting for ribbons in her since the day I knew it was a girl) and she was like forever unless you want the incident to repeat itself. Chai, imagine.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Oh my. I’ve met her. It was back in the mid 1970s and she drew me into a meeting with a man who offered to make me succeed with a few simple and affordable classes in communications. The real attraction had been the girl, but let’s see what he has to say. Well, she should have hung around because her partner blew the deal by, and I kid you not, by making no sense at all. Dude! You tell me that they’re communication classes. Have you actually taken one because from where I’m siting, you are mangling the message and exactly where are you hiding the girl?

    So, I finally left. Walked right past the girl who was wasting time between lord-knows-what and her next snag I guess. I had gotten one word from him that I did not understand so I went home and did digging without being able to find the meaning of the word. Okay, I know how to beat this even without waiting another 30 years for the internet to be invented. The next Saturday, I paid a visit to the local library and a few quality minutes with the card catalog shook loose that “Dianetics” was indeed a thing and it was almost exclusively taught and used by the friendly Scientologists.

    Ah. So, I had guessed that she really wasn’t that into me in the first place. I’ve wondered where this beauty wound up. Perhaps, she is a timeless specter who was later hired by your shady firm.

    She did smell good, didn’t she. . . ?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. hmmmm very interesting mid 70s you say, either she is a timeless specter or the role is passed on from generation to generation, when you find a “winning” formula you stick to it…
      ..and they have thing for communication even though some clearly need to retake their own classes or then again maybe they shouldnt, the world ‘s general population might not be able to withstand the psychological warfare


      PS she did smell good^_^


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