If you were having coffee with me, I would be happy you visited and offer you a cup of your favourite beverage provided I had it in stock, I only have coffee and water so those are the choices you would have and… Cake?
There’s been an interesting trend on the interwebs where people are posting videos of themselves cutting various objects only to reveal that they are cake. So you will have to forgive me if I ask if you are cake, but are you cake though?
If you were having coffee with me I would ask if you think its possible that invasion of the body snatchers has begun and everyone is being turned into cake but you cant tell if something is cake or not until you cut them…
A random child person asked me if I was cake the other day, well, not in those exact words but they did say “Wow you have really nice hair… like a girl’s” The child person’s mother was there looking at me like she wished the earth would open up and swallow her and I looked right back at her and twirled my locks and walked into the sunset, except well it wasn’t yet night and when the night came I watched a space satellite, but in the meantime, I enjoyed the sun.
If you were having coffee with me, I would tell you I had never given any thought to the International Space Station until I saw a tweet that it would be visible in our section of the sky, so I set an alarm to go and watch it.
It was fun playing spot the Space Station and then saw it speeding across the night sky like a really fast moving star… did you know it moves so fast it takes 90 minute to travel the world and the people aboard it experience sunset and sunrise about 16 times every 24 hours, I am not sure whether I pity them or envy them, maybe the space station is cake too.
If you were having coffee with me I would tell you that in the past week I have been facilitating an introduction to blogging workshop, with each passing day, the international school of blogging becomes something I see myself do. Infecting people with the marvels of storytelling seems to be a part of my legacy and you can kindly call me an uncle of bloggers.
If you were having coffee with me I would tell you that as we draw closer and closer to the 31st of July a day on which protest on corruption are slated to begin a restless unease feels me maybe its because the number of Corona Virus cases is going up at an alarming rate having passed the 1000 mark. The government is set to tighten lockdown restrictions although no official address has been made yet, some people think the government is using the rising Covid-19 cases as a way to clamp down on the coming protest and that they could even be cooking up the figures.
But the virus is real and it out there, I recently learnt that an old family friend succumbed to it, they got it or gave it to their company doctor during a routine medical check-up and currently all employees from that firm are in quarantine. He was self-isolating at his home and passed away; alone, only to be discovered after concerned people said he had not been answering his phone and asked neighbours to check-in… Scary.
If you were having coffee with me I would tell you that a bridge that was recently commissioned by the vice president has come under social media scrutiny.
The Pembi Bridge cost USD $1.8million and well the people want to know if such a project would cost that much or how it was initially budgeted to have cost $1 million and if there isn’t any shenanigans behind the expenditure; maybe the bridge is cake…
If you were having coffee with me I would tell you that they say that you can’t have your cake and eat it too, but it seems like that’s what some people strive to do, eat and have all the cake in the world without having to pay for it too.
Alex Magaisa published a Big Saturday Read article which had names of some of the beneficiaries of a Reserve Bank of Zimbabwe Farm Mechanisation scheme of 2007/8. The beneficiaries included high ranking government officials, judges and even prominent clergyman. According to a response by the former Reserve Bank Governor published in the SundayMail Newspaper the money owed from the Farm Mechanisation Scheme was not a loan and the recipients were not under obligation to pay for it.
The debt was assumed by the government which means it’s the taxpayers who are left with the bill. If this is how the government operates then small wonder the economy is in a free fall spin, maybe I will also sign up and get free farm equipment too, oh wait, I have to be high ranking government official to make it to that list or be the child of a decorated war hero to get a farm or maybe know someone important… I neither know any connected people nor am I the child of a war hero so I can only watch as others eat their cake and reach into my pocket to pay for it.
Life is a cake…
PS whats going on in your slice of cake?