Of Holidays: How To Not Steal Christmas

Guest Post

Holidays are here!!!

Regardless of how you celebrate or not celebrate the season; this is the time of the year where most people head back home, visit family and generally have family get togethers; while others go for their annual getaways to relax, maybe reflect on the year and just get away from it all….

In the jolly spirit of sharing, I wanted to share a couple of things on how to NOT be the Grinch that steals someone else’s holidays, so everyone can have a merry holiday time

We’d rather you didn’t:

1. Ask invasive progress reports.

If you are visiting any kin please please refrain from asking the young ones (and even the old too). How did you do this year? For any learner who might have not aced their exams or is finding school hard, the embarrassment is unbearable and often ruins their merry mood.

2. Include the following questions as small talk:

Ai) On Dating and Marriage – when are you getting married? Where is bae? When will we meet your “friend” Do you need dating help? Have you talked to aunty…

To all relatives and loved ones, please bear with us the dating space is not hunky dory these days, so stop it with the million dollar questions about bae and when we shall marry. Maybe we are one of “those” and don’t want to marry can it not turn into a family intervention please lets just enjoy the holidays And unless you have connections that can provide us with cement to build our own bae, please avoid asking this question especially at the dinner table.

Aii) On Marriage and kids – when are you getting a(nonther) baby?

If there is a problem in that department, we will tell you when we are ready and only if necessary you will see the grandkids when you see the grandkids and no we don’t want you die before you hold our children in your hands also stop talking about death, it’s the holidays remember.

Aiii) On Weight – asking about weight loss or gain or pregnancy

Saying, wow you have gained weight is not a compliment shut up and pass the potato salad.

Ask anyone who is not your average size, we are fully aware we are big so don’t highlight it, we have had the whole year carrying our weight so please let us not carry the burden of not having a good time because of you.

Conversely, yes we know we lost weight can we not talk about if I am stressed or not its actually kinda stressing trying to answer that, please stop piling our plate with food like that, we know what you doing

P.S  particularly for women, we are also not pregnant, some of us having conditions we have had to make peace to accept and medications we take that also contribute to that effect. So please don’t poke our tummies

3. Make outrageous hospitality requests

Unless you brought it, please try not ask for it

This is for you the visitor who might not be aware of social economical constraints and unavailability of certain goods. I am certain most people can relate to this particularly Zimbabweans, meat is expensive and tissue paper is now a delicacy, so please bear with us

Mazoe anyone?

4. Drink and Drive

We know some find the festive spirit as a message in bottle this time of the year. One too many drinks may cause fatal accidents and we all need everyone to arrive alive. If you know you have had too many please avoid driving, these roads are not safe for you and you are endangering others.

Remember to make the seatbelt a favourite travel companion, it will make a difference.

5. Forget to be cautious

During this festive season, don’t forget the bad wolf is walks amongst us and they prey on especially the young ones. You probably have heard that the abuser is often someone we know and whom we would never think would hurt our children. Those lil errands you are sending the little ones…

6. Forget to Say Thank You

Many will labor in the kitchens, to feed you then clean after you and prepare your rooms so you have a great holiday time. Please appreciate them; say Thank You. This magic word can go a long way for those who have put in the hours these holidays

7. Forget Yourself

Holidays are not for everyone and if you really feel you don’t want to go home or peopling. Its okay to honour yourself and spend time with you. 

Also if we are decline an invitation to a family get-together dinner or barbecue please don’t ask us what glue we have been smoking that makes us think we don’t want to spend time with family… That’s exactly why… never mind.

We are doing us this holiday

8. Worry so much and got some rest

Lastly to those who travelled abroad and those going home to rest. Worry eats up today’s happiness,   the moments and bask in the spirit  of resting. You deserve and need it.

Do you have any avoidables you would want to share with others this merry time?

Happy Holidaying

Guest Post by Melody

Melody Chingwaru is a book lover, avid reader, soapie fanatic and the editor of Untitled263. She tutors French and Portuguese.

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Day 24 of 25 and I’ll add a few more bonus I’d rather you didn’ts

I would rather you didn’t:

9. Ask what I got you for Christmas

Either I got you something and it’s a surprise or I didn’t (likely didn’t have anything to spare) either way stop asking it’s awkward why you turning me into a liar?… Christmas Box yourself

10. Give me this for Christmas

PS its a prank gift box available Amazon