Becoming The Muse

Of Kingsman *A review of sorts*

Recently watched Kingsman: The Secret Service and the movie had interesting quotes on being a gentleman. I watched it twice pausing and playing back some parts twice times twice to get the words. I could have googled but I am old school like that.

–A suit is the modern gentleman’s armor.

–Now, the first thing every gentleman needs is a good suit. By which I mean a bespoke suit. Never off the peg.

–You’re going to need a pair of shoes to go with your suit.

–A bespoke suit always fits.

–A gentleman’s name should appear in the newspaper only three times:
When he’s born,  when he marries and when he dies.

-“Being a gentleman has nothing to do with the circumstances of one’s birth. Being a gentleman is something one learns.”     “Yeah, but how?” “Alright, first lesson,you should have asked me before you took a seat.”

-“So you gonna teach me how to talk proper like in ‘My Fair Lady’?”
“That’d be absurd. Being a gentleman has nothing to do with one’s accent. Its about being at ease in one’s own skin.
As Hemingway said: “There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man.””True nobility is being superior to your  former self. “

The movie starts on a My Fair lady type of feel to it but in this case, its a young man being bred into a better man, a gentleman. He’s recruitment speech that goes like this:

” I see a young man with potential. A young man who is loyal. Who can do as he is asked,and who wants to do something good with his life. Did you see the film “Trading Places”? How about “Nikita”? “Pretty Woman” ?

NO My point is, the lack of a silver spoon has set you on a certain path, but you needn’t stay on it. If you’re prepare to adapt and learn, you can transform.”

” Yes, like “My Fair Lady” Only in this case, I am offering you the opportunity to become a Kingsman.

and you know its about to get real when on the first day of class the instructor says:

“you will write the details of your next of kin. On that body bag. This represents your acknowledgement of the risks that you are about to face…as well as your agreement to strict confidentiality, which incidentally if you break… will result in you and your next of kin being in that bag. Is that understood? Excellent.”

“When I was a kid, that was my dream job. A gentleman spy. I always felt the old Bond films were only as good as the villain.” ME TOO ok even skipping the spy stuff I’ve always wanted to be a gentleman

and the villain is certified insane (according to me, never trust anyone who offers free WiFi for everyone forever there is always a catch) and when he takes out one of the main good characters his epic rant:

“You know what this look like? Its like those old movies we both love. Now I’m gonna tell you my whole plan …and then I’m gonna come up with some absurdly, convoluted way to kill you…and then you’ll find an equally convoluted way to escape. That sounds good to me. Well, this ain’t that kind of movie. *and shoots him dead*

And then weird views on humanity:

“Humankind is the only virus cursed to live with the horrifying knowledge of its host’s fragile mortality.”

And an even weirder take on global warming, makes sense in a twisted kind of kill the whole human population kind of way:

When you get a virus, you get a fever. That’s the human body raising its core temperature to kill the virus. Planet Earth works the same way: Global warming is the fever…Mankind is the virus. We are making our planet sick. A cull is our only hope. If we do not reduce our population ourselves,there’s only two ways this can go :The host kills the virus,or the virus kills the host. Either way…- The result is the same: The virus dies.

So when the bad guy gets whats coming to him ( I aint spoiling nothing its obvoius its the kind of movie good triumphs over bad no matter how logical the villain’s train of thought)

“Is this the part where you say some really bad pun?” “Its like you said to Harry this ain’t that kind of movie.” *dead villain movie mostly ended*

and my favourite random line from the movie

You know what I love about pen and paper? Nobody can hack into this sh**..