Becoming The Muse

Chapter 41

This is what 41 looks like on me.

So I am firmly in the era of when life begins… and well, you could say I have been thinking, I’ve been thinking. With each passing year one grows older and takes stock on how far they’ve come and where they are going, and the scales tend to feel skewed in favour of what life took away, its so easy to overlook the gains.

https://twitter.com/Beatonm5/status/1889197667680436359

My birthday has always been a bittersweet celebration of life. My dad, rest his soul passed away a day after my 12^th birthday.

I remember I had taken cake to school to share with my classmates as was the class tradition. While I was dishing out cake, I was then called to the headmaster’s office where I was surprised to find my mum waiting for me and instructed to leave for home with my mum. I didn’t know why but I had a sneaky suspicion something was wrong, confirmed by my arrival home to find masofa panze *i.e. the sofas outside* a universal code for a household in mourning..

I was a sharp kid, perceptive, it didn’t take me long to put two and two together, when it was finally confirmed, I wasn’t surprised. I had known my father was in hospital having undergone open heart surgery to repair a mitral valve problem, kids know things.

The last memory I have of my dad was from when I was 11, it was a Sunday and dad was preparing brunch. Mum had work deadlines and had gone to the office. Suddenly dad just keeled over. I called mum and told her that “dad had fainted and I couldn’t wake him up…” next thing an ambulance was pulling up and thus begun the episode of endless hospitalisations but kids werent allowed in hospitals, so that was that…

He was 41 when he died…and thats the age I turned this year, by the time he was my age he had five kids, a house in a leafy suburb, two cars, mum drove a Datsun 140Y and dad a Peugeot 504… We werent rich, but we lived comfortably.

I am 41 and pardon the morbidity but what would I put in my will; a laptop with a backlight keyboard, a Samsung phone, a Canon camera, and a Smart Collection of imitation cosmetics, and some beeswax for my locs…😂

Just to ground ourselves my brothers and I visited our roots in the countryside, to do a bit of housekeeping, to remember and celebrate the lives of those who left before us.

When I was growing up, we used to go to our family homestead regularly, but now with life and adulting, we find ourselves returning less and less and mostly for funerals.. We promise ourselves that next time will be sooner and we wont wait another 3 years…

One day you wake up and you are the elders who people look upto for answers.. and there’s so much you dont know or never thought to learn from those who would have known… but new adventures await

Hello to getting older and wiser, happy new year 🥂