Of Coffee With Monster Energy

If you were having coffee with me I would be super glad to see you visit my tangle of words… I had taken a small small vacation in celebration of my 9^th anniversary… yeah apparently this tangle of words and I are married. ^_^

Its been 9 years and sometimes I still ask myself: Why am I here?…. And part of the answer still remains the same… my immortality. There is an inside joke from people acquainted with my blog on how I have a blog post about almost anything one could ask me… and if its not there, I am likely to write about it ^_^

If you were having coffee with me I would tell you that one of my whimsical dreams is to travel the world, experience difference cultures and write about it over a cup of coffee. Even though the furthest I have travelled away from the place I was born is within an 800km radius, I consider myself a digital nomad, being at home anywhere as long I can access the internet. I also toy with the fanciful idea of being a stay-at-home husband.

ok I am ready to be a stay at home husband 😍 I can cook and tell stories, kids love me, I am not even that expensive to keep, a laptop an internet connection, a cuppa coffee and a quiet place to write. 😅😁😊

— ~B 🇿🇼 (@Beatonm5) May 10, 2019

When I initially posted the tweets highlighted above, I had a romanticised idea about a quiet place and kids 🤡 Now I have a new found respect for authors who are parents. Over the past fortnight I have had loads of practice as a stay-at-home uncle… My nephew and niece are around for the holidays… Riddle me this whats barely aged and has monster energy for days?

I bet your answer wouldn’t be this scary looking prework-out energy drink. I was fairly confident no business would have the business model that would involve turning their clients into a literal skull and bones so it shouldn’t be lethal right? Drinking this stuff is equivalent to taking 4 cups of coffee infused with high octane fuel, you feel like you can do everything, everywhere, forever..

Keeping a constant eye on little bundles of energy is quite exhausting, take your eyes off them and boom they are upto some crazy stunts doing exactly what they shouldn’t be doing, stuff that can get you arrested for gross negligence. Thank whoever invented Teletubbies, bless Tinky Winky, Po, Laa-Laa, and Dipsy.

Of all the places in the house how can a child’s favourite place be the bathroom, full of buckets with icy cold crystal clear water and a potential drowning hazard. Five seconds in the bathroom and the kids are all drenched like a baptism or maybe an exorcism judging from the squeals, one fears what can happen if they are in there any longer.. Constantly reminding yourself to check that the bathroom door is closed at all times.

How about when you are sitting there trying to watch a movie with the kids and a stranger knocks on the door and they are carrying your child… Then they ask if you know the kid, cause they picked him up, outside, playing in traffic…  Oooops if the kids parents are reading this I promise it wasnt on purpose.. The prayers you make that at least it was a stranger of the kind sort and not the type who steal little babies and even adults that are constantly going missing with flyers being shared on social media asking if you have seen them…

Home probably feels like a prison now, for the little ones… and just when you start feeling a little bad for keeping them cooped up … you find they are busy learning prison break and a great escape is planned… gotta keep the gate chained up…

How does one even get the time to do anything else? Schools will be opening soon and I will be thrilled for school to start and the kids back at being their parent’s problems ha! If the parents are reading this, its be fun lets do this again next holiday or not ^_^

If you are having coffee with me I would tell you that our crazy inflation seems to have stabilized before breaching the 1:1000 mark to the USD, the parallel market rate seems to be reducing. The government has been congratulating itself on the effectiveness of its measures… Its still early days though lets see what happens.

The meme below captures my reaction when I saw the news that its no longer mandatory to wear face masks in public (people haven’t been really wearing them anyway just draping them across their chins unless police officers are nearby) then came the other shoe, provided one is fully vaccinated with 3 doses of vaccine and carrying their vaccination card as proof….

So I take it police will be checking on people without masks and asking to see their vaccination cards, sounds like a lot of unnecessary work, cant we just do away with the charade already? Sometimes the government behaves like a toddler with monster energy but focusing on all the wrong things like now they just gazetted the new fees for prospective political candidates:

1. Presidential candidate – $20 000 USD
2. Parliamentary candidate – $1 000 USD
3. Councillors – $100 USD.

They say its to discourage unserious candidates and reduce unnecessary political aspirants – but it also serves as a bottleneck where those who cant afford to pay cant be political players… Reminds me of how back in our history one couldn’t vote if they didn’t have particular education qualifications or if they didn’t have a certain kind of employment their voice didn’t matter….

Democracy is such a weird concept… If you are in Kenya, whats going on over that side, we have elections coming up in a year and some say Kenya is a sign, not sure what kind of sign… 🤔

Whats been going on in your neck of the woods?

~B

PS The kids have been a little too quiet, I need to go find out what they are up to.