If you were having coffee with me we would be having a cup of coffee hotter than the winter sun. It is winter this side of the world. You can have hot chocolate if you prefer.
If you were having coffee with me I would ask you if you saw the full moon last night, I did, I always circle the calendar on the days that have moonlit nights, I feel an urge to howl at the moon if this were a moon howling world.
If you did not know it by now I love the moon …..It looks like a diamond on the black velvet of night.
If you were having coffee with me I would tell you I submitted an article for possible consideration as a columnist for some online publication and I spent weeks anxiously waiting for a response, the details stated that only short-listed candidates would be contacted. Don’t you just hate it when they do that? How long must you wait before you decide you were not shortlisted, I think it’s just cruel and unusual torture, how hard is it to have an email template you can copy paste all unfortunate candidates put them out of their misery. I hope they make loads of money from all the money they save by sending emails to only short-listed candidates.
Sometime during the past week, while checking my email I found I had been a short-listed candidate and received the second half of instructions. They wanted to know my twitter handle, the horror *ghostie emoji*
Imagine a potential employer having a look at your Twitter Timeline and you desperately trying to remember if you tweeted anything that’s Not Suitable For Work. I had half a mind to start a new twitter profile for business and people I do not like, people whom I have to tell I don’t do twitter *Poker face emoji* but apparently they (employers) consider your follower count to see your potential reach or influence. They also wanted me to write an imaginary review about an imaginary startup company which I would pull out of my imagination and also highlight why this company would consequently fail, I was definitely out of my depth, and these guys were out for blood. Bye Bye Boss.
Imagine my surprise when I was called in for an interview. It was going great until they said that they would pay me with exposure. Does one eat exposure? And it turns out I have far more twitter followers than they isn’t that ironic… oh how much more exposure would I benefit from them, its exploitation that’s what it is, say NO to slavery. Writers gotta eat too. I guess they didn’t take my response all too kindly because………..
If you having coffee with me or hot chocolate or whatever rocks your boat, its water that rocks boats by the way, I would ask you, your thoughts on regret letters, you know the ones you get from potential employers saying we regret to inform you will not be joining our organization or publishing your manuscript. I think they should state that either in the ref or first line of the email so you do no waste time finishing reading it. Sugar coating it telling by telling you what an awesome candidate you were and how they were thrilled you were interested in joining their company or publication services *blah* *blah* *blah* but then hidden somewhere in the last line almost like a forgotten Post Script oh yeah by the way we regret to say……. *Sigh*
If you were having with me, I would tell you, I recently had an epiphany, on three things.
- Number 1 is that I have really brilliant ideas in my head, about life the universe and everything and my writing.
- Number 2 is I really need to remember to write in my journal or something to capture all these thoughts so I can get back to them and polish them up for all they are worth.
- Number 3…. I don’t remember but that brings me back to number 2
If you were having coffee with me I would say thank you for the visit how has your past week been, whats good whats really good, whats really really good. Here is to a brilliant new week.
If you were having coffee with me I would show you this picture of my niece, A baby on a motor bike Vroom vroom.