Becoming The Muse

The Presidential Motorcade Zimbabwe

There are few spectacles in Zimbabwe as reliably dramatic as the presidential motorcade, attracting awe, curiosity and attention at its display of opulence and its security protocols. It has a distinct wail of police sirens and a choreographed convoy of sleek luxury vehicles.

It’s common knowledge, that once you hear the police siren, you pull over. Voluntarily or through gentle encouragement, you learn to know your place when the motorcade passes. In 2002, people were banned from making rude gestures or swearing at former President Robert Mugabe’s motorcade, which was colloquially known as Bob and The Wailers because of its sirens.

 A motorbike sweeps past, then another, then a convoy of vehicles that includes state security, police, government officials, medical teams, armed forces and various dignitaries, depending on the occasion, accompanying the presidential transport Zim 1.

Watching the motorcade speed past makes one wonder if the president has a fear of being assassinated or it’s a demonstration of power, maybe a bit of both. If that’s the case wouldn’t travelling with such a large entourage be akin to painting a very large bullseye announcing that I AM HERE.

This is why most people speculate that all is not as it seems.. Ask ten Zimbabweans where the president sits in the motorcade and you’ll get ten different answers, each more imaginative that the last with suggestions that a body double sits in the Zim 1.

Some say that he will be in one of the accompanying cars, maybe even aboard the ambulance that’s always a part of the motorcade. Some have hypothesised  that he will be riding with the commando unit whose vehicle is usually at the the rear of motorcade.

Others have theorised that he doesn’t even travel with the motorcade and will instead be following behind in a non-descript vehicle, while all attention is on the convoy of cars. That actually sounds plausible.

 I remember, back in primary school when we were “volunteered” to welcome the late former president. We stood in the sports field under the blazing lowveld sun, waiting to have a heatstroke. We watched the president’s military helicopter land as the Zim 1 sped across the the tracks to meet its designated passenger.

It was my first time seeing a helicopter up close, we screamed, we cheered, we clapped and inhaled a whole lotta dust and when it finally settled the president was already at his podium and no one could explain how he got there… sneaky sneaky.

The weirdest theory I heard is that the Robert Mugabe was a biker on the motorbike leading the motorcade…

Where do you think the president would be?