If you were having coffee I would be happy for the visit even though its hot as hell, temperatures are averaging 30+ its like the person responsible for temperature control isn’t looking at the gauge.
If you were having coffee with me. I would tell you that the other day I had some trouble with my neck, maybe I slept badly or just woke up on the wrong side of the bed with a stiff neck and felt like someone was giving me a karate chop to the neck whenever I tried turning my head to the left.
Its easy to take for granted how much of the world exists on the left side and I don’t mean politically, I had to turn round the long way to face things and tried several remedies to get my neck to work especially as I had a zoom conference and of course you can guess that the orientation of my camera and screens was on my left side…
I am fine now, I am not sure what eventually worked maybe it was simply time or the Monkey Shoulder I tried rubbing into my neck or was it the shots I drank?
If you were having coffee with me I would ask if you would like some Monkey Shoulder with your coffee? For medicinal purposes of course…
Maybe you prefer gold in your coffee? Yes real gold.. if you go to the most iconic hotels in Dubai you can order The Ultimate Gold Cappuccino. The beverage is made using 100% Arabica beans and foamed milk that’s been blended with gold and then topped with 24-carat gold sprinkle.
The edible gold is tasteless and mostly for decoration but some say gold has some health properties. With things like this its not a surprise that Dubai has such a hungry market for gold… This is where a lady who was caught at the airport trying to smuggle 6kg of gold in her hand luggage was headed.
If you were having coffee with me I would tell you that this gold smuggling case has opened a can of worms as it seems to implicate high ranking people operating in a very calculated fashion and considering the gold was in a highly refined state this suggests the gold came from the country’s gold authority. In her defence, the lady in question told the court she had the papers to be in possession of the gold but had simply carried the wrong bag with her to the airport and did not mean to smuggle gold out of the country… ok then.
According to the Home Affairs minister the country losing close to US $100 million of gold being smuggled out of the country’s borders. Such statements constantly make me think of some sentiment I read somewhere about how countries in Africa are not poor but simply misgoverned.
If you were having coffee with I would tell you how elections in Ivory Coast have progressed just like clockwork with the president winning a 3rd term in office even though their constitution had stated two-term limits and of course the leader of the opposition has been arrested or rather detained as his arrest was not confirmed by authorities.
In Tanzania the chairman of the main opposition party, Freeman Mbowe was arrested and Tundu Lissu who was the presidential candidate says he fears for his life and has been getting threatening messages. The president has secured a second five-year term in the just-ended elections and our president attended the inauguration…
In Uganda the president had his nomination as a presidential candidate approved and on the same day dancehall artist turned politician Bobi Wine also handed in his nomination papers for the presidential race and was arrested, again. Speaking after his brutal arrest he asked the security officers to treat him as human.

So much arrests going, back to home investigative journalist Hopewell Chin’onon has been arrested again on charges of contempt of court, its said some tweets of his violated bail conditions and prejudiced the courts or something like that…
If you were having coffee with me I would tell you that election season in Africa is an extreme sport and of course the US election still managed to take over the headlines, its almost impossible to not have missed out on the drama from this side of the world. When Trump was out losing his chill I saw tweet about how he was going full Robert Mugabe.

It always rubs me up some way when someone refers to us and ours as a benchmark for such behaviour… I mean maybe he was just going full Donald Trump. This whole thing about trying to stay in the president’s office is not entirely an African problem, maybe it’s a human problem, and we need institutions that will protect citizens from the human condition.
I couldn’t help wondering that if those elections had been held here, Biden and Harris would probably be in jail and The Count would have been stopped… Anyhow congratulations; Madam Vice President of America is no longer just a character from TV.

If you were having coffee with me I would tell you that the final phase for school opening is supposed to start today, students have gone to school but teachers are still on an industrial action citing incapacitation and exam classed are supposed to be doing a crash course program to write exams at the end of the year.
I keep expecting an announcement that ministry of education decided to cancel this academic year and everyone stays in the same grade next year but they adamant the show go on.
If you were having coffee with me I would tell you about a socialite businessman Genius Kadungure aka Ginimbi who died in a horror crash along with 3 others in his Rolls Royce Wraith on the early hours of Sunday morning. Of course you can imagine people will always have things to say, dissecting people’s lifestyle choices like they are keepers of the book of life, prophets coming out of the woodwork who had predicted his death, conspiracy theories about his wealth…

I never met the man and constantly curious about what exactly his business was, he had a fleet of really nice cars, threw extravagant all-white parties in his lavish mansion and yeah you could say the green-eyed monster had me wondering what I would have to do to live a life like that… and just like that… The End my guy.
If you were having coffee with me I would tell you that not all that glitters is gold, whats been going on in your neck of the woods.
~B
PS A cup of the Ultimate Gold Cappuccino costs a pile of money but one can dream ^_^

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