Of My Selfish Love

My selfish love

being loved by a writer;

Dear Muse;

Heart.jpg

When I say I’m in love with you,
I mean I am selfishly in love with you
I love myself through you.
I love seeing myself through your eyes,
I love seeing myself through my eyes,
imagining how I look through your eyes.
I love watching you read the words I wrote
and secretly knowing that they are for your eyes only,
although the whole world can read them too,

When I say I am in love with you;
I mean I love to see you listening to all the stories I have to share,
I love having you to express to;
my opinions,
my profound theories and beliefs,
Especially the silliest things,
along with the important things in my life.
I love hearing myself say these things as I imagine how they sound to you,
and how enthralled I imagine you are with me as I am;
With me.

When I say I’m in love with you,
I mean I love having;
Someone beautiful to wear,
like a favourite outfit.
I love the way you feel on me.
I love the way I feel about me when you are with me.

When I say I am love with you I mean I love how familiar you feel,
like I have known you forever,
in a place without time or in another life,
somewhere between my past life and my next life.
When I say I’m in love with you, I mean I love not being alone.
I love not being that tree falling in the forest that no one heard;
That book that has never been read.
I love having you as my full-time personal audience.

When I say I’m in love with you,
I mean I want you to give me all of your most precious gift;
Your Undivided Attention.
I want to be the reason your world lights up,
as you watch the fire that is me,
Burn.
I mean would burn down to the ground for you;
so you could watch me from its ashes rise like a phoenix.

When I say I’m in love with you, I mean I’m in love with being your sun,
monopolizing your orbit, being your gravity,
keeping you drawn back to me no matter how hard you try to jump or fly,
keeping you down.
Keeping you mine.
Lighting up your world
When I say I’m in love with you what I mean is I love staring at myself in the mirror only to see you standing behind me smiling.

When I say I’m in love with you I mean I love
being your mystery,
your riddle,
being what keeps you up at night,
your addiction,
your obsession.
I love being your altar,
your sacrament,
your icon,
your miracle.
I love being your answer.
I love being the object of your sacrifice.
I love being your pain.

When I say I’m in love with you, I mean that if I had to write down what gives me joy in one word it would be your name,
I love your voice,
When you say my mine,
Your lips,
When you smile at me.
Your eyes,
When you looking at me,
And when you do all three at the same time;

For an instant; time stops.


When I say I’m in love with you,

I mean I’m in love with breathing your air, eating your dreams.
I’m in love with being your drug,
your drug dealer
your dagger
your lil secret
Your Joy

When I say I’m in love with you,

I mean I love the story I can tell to my next love,
about my ex-love,
About how they will never compare to you or understand me like you do
about how beautiful things were,
How crazy,
How intense,
How storybook,
What a couple we were,
and how you gradually, inexplicably,
Bit by bit,
Disappeared.
How I still wait for you like the man who can not be moved;

When I say I’m in love with you,
What I really mean is that
only you make me Me,
and all the stories I have yet to write;
You Are My Muse.

~B


Responses to “Of My Selfish Love”

  1. Kadali avatar

    if i was that other girl crushiing on u i would rush here

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Beaton avatar

      I do believe I saw her footprints somewhere here
      ~B

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Mable Amuron avatar

    I’m just a lil bit, just a little bit jealous of your muse

    Love this!
    ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Beaton avatar

      only a lil bit? hahahahahaha you really ought not to be……..
      ~B

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Mable Amuron avatar

    😂😂😂😂😂, she rushed here……..

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Beaton avatar

      I dont know what to do with this information
      😉 lol
      ~B

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Mable Amuron avatar

        Don’t you? 😂😅😉😉😉😉😉

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Beaton avatar

        😂😄😊

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Laura avatar

    Omg B that is everything!!!
    Lucky girl
    Butttt!
    If you love her like this…there should be no other
    You won’t need to tell her to the next
    It’s already completely complete

    Liked by 3 people

  5. lakerfiona avatar

    B
    This is so intense
    So beautiful
    So real

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Beaton avatar

      Thanks ♥♥♥♥♥
      Much appreciated
      ~B

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Shuvai Mlilo avatar

    Love you writing. This is so deep. The feelings are overwhelming I can feel them from here. I just might use these words somewhere, I’ll definitely attribute them to you B.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. D avatar

    Dude!!! ding dong, do you work for Cupid?? Just Beaut B, bravo 👏

    Liked by 2 people

  8. oneta hayes avatar

    A novel admission. Not many admit to loving self more than any other.

    Liked by 3 people

  9. Elle avatar

    Oh my for a moment I thought you were in love with me. But then you broke up with me. And I disappeared. Hahaha very good like all of your stories. Have always loved your stories. And you know that well.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Beaton avatar

      ♥♥♥♥♥
      always
      ~B

      Like

  10. MG WELLS avatar

    A sweet musing and I know you LOVE her. Do you LIKE her? I was just discussing this with a friend. When someone is a friend/lover it can be crazy or peaceful. I’ll take peaceful. Thanks for sharing and best wishes to you.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Beaton avatar

      Thats a really good question, *thinking face emoji*
      ~B

      PS Thank you for the visit ♥

      Liked by 1 person

  11. BaNitambe avatar

    This is beautiful😍

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Beaton avatar

      Thank you ♥♥♥
      Its one of my fave
      ~B

      Liked by 1 person

  12. moragnoffke avatar

    Inspirational!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Beaton avatar

      Thank you
      ~B

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Anomaly avatar

    🥺🥺🥺 this muse!!!

    Like

    1. Beaton avatar

      😂😂
      ~B

      Like

  14. Mable Amuron avatar

    I am really jealous of this muse 😂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Beaton avatar

      Hi Mable
      ~B

      Like

  15. Ms Abigaba avatar

    B
    In Uganda we have a common expression of; Eeeeeh
    This is me saying, I love it 🌹

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Beaton avatar

      😍😍😍
      Thank you
      ~B

      Liked by 1 person

  16. Winnie Malinga avatar

    I’ve enjoyed reading the comments as much as the poem.

    There’s no competing with this muse. Captivating piece right here.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Beaton avatar

      The comment field is high key my favourite blog section, it’s like getting to rid what you write from a different perspective 😂😂😂
      Thank you Winnie
      ~B

      Like

  17. A Letter to the Reluctant Blogger – Part 2 | Growing Pains avatar

    […] you Sekuru B, whose muse I am still so jealous of, for shaking your dreads in approval at the start of this. […]

    Like

  18. diaryofafriendzoneaddict avatar

    Wow what type of an amazing person you would have to be to become a muse😍

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Beaton avatar

      Definitely unforgettable
      ~B

      Liked by 1 person

  19. Racheal avatar

    Wooooooooooooooooooooowzzaaa!!! I love it.You got me snapping my fingers endlessly.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Beaton avatar

      **finger snaps**😍😍
      Thank you Racheal
      ~B

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Racheal avatar

        Pleasure

        Like

  20. The grey clover avatar

    Congratulations! I have nominated you for the sunshine blogger award. I look forward to reading your response. Kindly check the link for the guidelines
    https://thegreyclover.wordpress.com/2020/07/04/the-sunshine-blogger-award/

    Like

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