I answered a knock at my gate, only to find it was a TV Licence Inspector and he was like ‘Sir I would like to see your VALID TV licence, if you do not have one; you can either renew it because I conveniently am authorised to issue out and renew licenses or I can write you ticket and you pay at your nearest police station so in addition to paying your license you also have to pay a fine within 7 working days or risk prosecution……”
I might not know law but isn’t that a form of blackmail or extortion setup thing going on?
Anyway as I did not have cash on me nor did I want to go to jail I had a bright idea***:
I said to the guy “toita sei” meaning “what shall we do?” and he said “imi manga mati toita sei” meaning “what do you think we must do?”
***This is the same conversation path you would delve down if you were seeking a bribe, I know people who take detours to avoid roadblocks with ZBC radio listener’s licences officials because they won’t pay car radio licences…. Oh I am firmly against bribes and corruption by the way …
So I scratch my head looking thoughtfully into the distance and said “well… I dont have a TV…”
His reply “I see a satellite dish on top of your roof you therefore have a TV…”
And that’s when I was like “….but see if I have a sat-dish, doesn’t that mean to you I care not to watch your local TV and that’s why I might not pay TV licence (if I do have a TV and I don’t pay that is…) or maybe if you had better programmes and I did not feel I was being subjected to propaganda or endless repeats of stuff I watched growing up….
Yes I understand it costs money to get quality programming and if we don’t pay our TV licences then you can’t give us quality programming and well I don’t want to pay for substandard TV until I know I am not paying for shoddy viewing… and we reach an impasse… what for must happen happen now?
hmmm how about, can you as yet bar my TV from getting a signal….. Oh you havent gone digital yet ….. so I must pay simply because I own a TV…… besides how do you even know I have a TV hey wena jus because there is a fridge in my house doesn’t mean there is milk in it, just because my hair is the way it is doesn’t make me a witch-doctor I dare you to go look for my TV AND IF YOU FIND IT.. I will gladly pay the license, but IF YOU DONT…”
The inspector just walked away shaking his head…
I am now keeping gate locked and getting an attack dog and a sign that says
{Survivors will be hospitalised} !!!
I forgot to show him my phone and say “You see this phone it’s got…
- a TV,
- a radio,
- a multimedia player,
- a home theater system with flashing disco lights
- the power of the internet and live streaming at the tip of my fingers
- and other things I don’t know because the manual for it wasn’t in English
Do I need radio and TV license for it too?”
~B
PS where can I buy a TV that doesn’t have TV Tuner, not a TV but is simply a monitor? I wouldn’t have to pay a TV Licence for that now would I?
PPS would you rather have a month of Premium TV subscription or unlimited WIFI internet service?
Becoming The Muse 
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