Becoming The Muse

HI I am B. and I am a blogger.
(everyone says hi B)
I will share with you my blogging journey. If blogging had a report card mine would be graded with mostly Ds

Phase 1. D is for Denial
I never thought of myself as a blogger. Bloggers (to me) are those major moguls with thousands upon thousands of followers, who post frequently, get quoted in mainstream media and win awards actual awards with medals and ribbons and prizes and and and have published books on the bestseller list with rave reviews.

I am just a regular guy, who has a blog and sometimes I post.
I have instagram account does that make me an instagrammer? how bout twitter.. am I a twittererer…erm never mind thats not even a word.

I write for myself I write what I like as Steve Biko put it.

When I am not writing I read 🙂

Phase 2. D is for Doubt
So I was writing to myself in my own lil world never expecting anyone else to be reading or that I would be good enough, that anyone, apart from me would want to read.
Imagine taking a selfie of your naked soul and doubting that it’s not good enough or it’s too ugly for anyone to see. You bare all you are and doubt makes you stand awkwardly and try to cover up.

Phase 3. D is for Disinclined Acceptance
Imagine my surprise when I find people recommending my blog to others or saying they are fans.
All these people can’t all be crazy right. So reluctantly I am inclined to accept I am what I am. ^_^

You know how when you spend hours in the kitchen creating a masterpiece of a meal by the time you are done, you are no longer hungry….

You only know the meal was great because those you served, wiped their plates clean and asked for more…. Just like Oliver Twist

And you The Cook, you only nibbled on your serving.

You are not hungry because while you were cooking, you were taking lil bites (to taste mostly, right?)
Unfortunately you were “sampling” the rough draft checking,
if the seasoning in the word stew was just right,
if the plot of gravy was thick enough,
enough salad dressing on the metaphoric salad,
and how about a touch of colour on the plot twist Hmmmm a dash of beetroot perhaps?
As with my cooking so is my writing by the time I am done, its simply just a well punctuated grammatically correct string of words, and I am no longer hungry.
But every time someone comments (constructively.. hopefully) you look through their eyes and for a second you see what they see Sometimes they totally miss the point you were trying to make, or they find a new point you did not even know you were making and you look at it and think, yep that’s about right.
If enough the people tell you, you cook well, you best believe it.

Phase 4. D is for Dedication
And so slowly I realize I like it when other people read what I write, like what I write, I want more of this, and helps to resolve my dedication to write more.
Dedication makes me consistent, keeps me in line, drives me(insane but in writer kinda way 🙂

Never trust a skinny chef!

Or a bartender who has never ever had a drop of alcohol

When you ask them what do you think is good and they recommend something because that’s what most people order and it’s just so happens to be the “discounted house special”.
Well just because other people like sipping on liquid razor blades chased with lemons that’s their business, don’t mean I like it.

Phase 5. D is Deliverance
When I write I exorcise the voices in my head, the thoughts I never speak about but they are there buzzing around. If you stumble onto my blog and like what you read leave me a kind word, (or healthy criticism) it’s one of the best parts about blogging since I rather live off compliments (but shhhh that’s a writer’s secret.) I have also made many interesting “friends” who have inspired me in many various ways, from my comment field.

I am getting the feeling I am getting addicted to hearing good things about me ^_^

Writing just like any sport takes no skill to do it absolutely horribly while some effortlessly dribble words past a field of critics and sink one in the best-sellers list.

Well I try to have fun and I laugh out loud as I write, true story.

The more I write the better I get and that book idea, well its deliverance seems more and more like an obtainable goal, beyond that impossible is nothing.
The storyteller never lies,
A story told never dies.
and so too its teller.
That is why I write.

~B

Ps have coffee with me thats when I had the idea for this post when I was preparing to be a #GuestBlogger for Afrobloggers.